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I can see both sides. I understand her point of view.
Would I date this person? No. Would I date a single mother? No. Everyone has their own boundaries. Some people might be OK with it. You are not. On contemplation and reflection, I would not be either – if I want to take a trip with my girlfriend I would want there to be a bit of an “us” time. I would get out of there. Most men would not be there or would be out of there. Some men would stay. Decide which man you are.
I think that at 21 you don’t really know the consequences of how this can affect you mentally. You’re still very young and a lot of these issues come to surface when you’re older.
honestly i thought about this too and figured someone would say this ? as for counseling its expensive
I had a similar situation once and I got up and told him to get the fuck out to go be with these women that want him so bad. He was baffled as I proceeded on getting his shit out of my house. We didn't break up at that point but soon after we did anyway. If a man isn't happy about being with me he is not a man for me
O my god….. Your father is the most selfish person. I would never do that to my family.
If someone allows others to treat them this way then they need self respect.
Can confirm. Played for the last 13 or so and had women on my team the vast majority of “my career”. Every one of them changed with us, most were married or in relationship, sometime with guys on the team, it’s just not an issue.
We had one 18 year old woman that played 1 game, she changed in the women’s room then joined us in the locker room.
OP, don’t die on this hill, you are asking her to ostracize herself in a community that, I have to assume, she is passionate about. It’s a tight knit community, be happy she found it! We need more women in hockey!
He do it on purpose. He want to push to your limit and then go even further because he knows you won’t stand up for yourself, he want you to feel worthless so you will never leave him.
It is up to you if you want this to continue, but he would only get worse.
Tell them you use to date, but you’re just friends now.
Why does your bf need to give you anything? Stand up and get that bread yourself
He didn't like the relationship so he left. It's naked trying to build something with someone only to find consistently you're incompatible. You're emotional on a person who doesn't express like that and it can be too much for someone. If you could give some examples of manipulation that'd be nice because either he just wanted something out of you or he was trying to make you into the person he thought you were in the beginning, which is a mistake and he just got into it too fast.
When you break up with her because of your fundamental incompatibility (nobody's fault), let her know that she was out of line for saying You “should be ashamed of wanting it so often”.
You didn't cross a boundary. You reached a potential boundary and respectfully followed her (entirely reasonable) rules for finding out if that boundary existed in that moment, she then got irritated. Maybe it was because she has her own internalised shame at her asexuality (not that it's a reason to have shame, but an inability to fit in with perceived societal norms does funny things to people), maybe something else, who knows, it's on her to figure out if and when she wants to, and I don't suggest discussing this with her unless she specifically asks to. She then took that irritation out on you and you didn't deserve that.
“I don't know if I should express that it bothered me” – this depends on how conversation goes, sometimes people want to grow from this sort of thing and are in a position to receive constructive criticism, but most of the time people aren't up for that when being rejected. Gotta judge this for yourself.
But don't worry about making this relationship worse, it's already over – now it's just about ending things in as mutually respectful way as possible.
Its stunning how you were able to express my feelings better than my self with that:
Hey, I know that our game development project kind of fell through. But I am okay with it. The truth is, I thought it was an easy way for us to get to bond over. I was just excited to have something that I could spend time with you. But, I don't really care for the game, I cared more about getting to know you. And because of my shyness, I thought the game was a great entry point for us. Now, I realize that it wasn't the best option. I think I would rather get to know you more this way.
But I defenitely don't feel like being able to say this. For that to happen I would have to find my self in a situation with her where for some reason feel like it is appropiate, which is quite unlikely to ever happen anymore.
Additionally, casual things like bowling or going to a movie are not really my thing. In my freetime I often create stuff like software or play/compose music. Obviously I also like playing video games but she plays completely different games than me. Her favourite games are PlayStation exclusives and some Nintendo games and I am more of a PC and indie games gamer.
At least he was honest with his feelings. Thank him for being honest and ask yourself if you want someone you have to prove yourself to. I think relationships can survive anything, but can your happiness? Don’t settle for years of marriage over years of happiness.
Eh, she'll get enough alimony to be okay. He'll have to get another job to support her and the kids at a new home.
idek how i would afford to take care of the kids if we separated. i’m a SAHM and daycare is insanely expensive where we live!.
The first thing I would do is communicate the above to him – if he's not invested, like you fear, he'll probably start to distance himself on his own anyway.
If he doesn't see this as a problem, you have an issue with differing expectations which I would probably end the relationship because of.
If he says he'll change, give it a month or two and see if he actually does. If not, cut and run, if he does, then maybe he just didnt realise how you were feeling.
Yes context doesn't matter and I'm the idiot well played
When we get married
Lol she told you she posts for male attention? Or is that an assumption? Because if it is, then just talk to her and move on from there. If it's not an assumption and you know this for a fact.. then why are you still with her?
And he is after her
Yuck. This is very concerning.
If he lies about the unimportant stuff (because 80k a year is still a lot!) then he’ll lie about the important stuff too (cheating, money problems, etc).
You wanted me to have a shorter wedding celebration because of this guy? Nah lol. It’s a vacation for my closest family and friends and they’re more than happy about it, so the length of the wedding is totally not the point. It’s about how to go about it with as little drama as possible and to make as many people happy as possible, and I know quite a few of the guests would be upset if they had to spend that much time with him, so it’s just a tough situation to navigate.
Thank you, I was like okay there’s no way she’s gonna go to jail for her husband having cp. let’s be real. Its already a bad enough situation as it is
Some clarifications: 1) I have a higher sex drive and he would rather be doing active things outside of the house 2) he does enjoy spending time with me but he doesn't care if it's one on one or in a group
And believe me I am in therapy Thank you for the insight!
Guessing he might not be the brightest fella