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Absolutely no one said or thinks that all men are like that. The point is that we don't know whether or not the strange man who is hitting on us IS going to become aggressive when rejected, so sometimes it's better safe than sorry. I would rather placate someone in the moment and block them later than be verbally attacked or followed home as has happened multiple times before.
If that offends you, take it up with the creepy, aggressive men who make these protective mechanisms necessary. They're the ones making it harder for the rest of you.
I feel really sorry for whatever poor creature is stuck in a relationship with you.
I think a lot of you are missing some reading comprehension skills. In case you missed it: the gf intentionally called her ex with no caller ID while her and OP were already dating. This was not a buttdial. So what was so wrong about OP questioning his gf on why she called her ex? You all are saying he’s so controlling like if you wouldn’t also want to make sure you’re not getting cheated on after seeing that your partner tried contacting their ex. Bunch of hypocrites.
And this guy who approved is a professional approver.
More reasons to listen to him.
Yeah, like, on the way say something along the lines of: “we should only buy stuff for other people and not ourselves because I don't want to buy something for myself if you've already gotten it for me for Christmas”
Getting involved with a person who is married is always a no. End of story. When she is divorced she knows how to find you.
You should ask him if he has anyone in mind…. and if he does, that can be red flag.
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I got you
You have a terrible boyfriend who doesn't appreciate you
Op, he's in the “FOG”. Fear Obligation Guilt. Show your husband this website. You should read it too.
https://outofthefog.website/
Do this OP. These are great ideas and you get nice nails out of it.
You get the the fuck out and get a restraining order
His friends who’re married come rarely but those who’re unmarried come daily and one even stays the night. My husband has a small house next to our place where all of his friends come. He gives the justification ‘at least i’m still home and not outside.’
I’ve spoken to my in laws about it. My MIL brushes it off cause my FIL used to work tirelessly and he would come home weeks later so she thinks its okay but what she doesnt get is that uncle went because of work, not because of his friends. My FIL is very understanding but sometimes he tells me that I should be thankful that hes going to his friends and not involved in drugs. I told him that my husband sneaks in hash ciggs to which he was angry at my husband but that didnt change him either.
And you’re so right about the woman to be around family and take care of the child. I just recently started to work, it was all fine until my baby’s nanny left for her holidays so I had to skip work to take care of OUR son. He wouldnt bother taking care of our son but he would take care of his chickens and meet his friends daily.
Well, I think you're very insightful about your boyfriend not being that into you. He's treating you like a side piece. I guess you need to ask yourself if this is what you are willing to tolerate in a relationship. If the answer is yes, this is what your future looks like. If the answer is no, you need to cut things off
I was in a relationship like this once and it simply is not worth it. I know you care about him, but you deserve someone who prioritizes you and it will never be him. This all doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, necessarily—it just means be cares about the other things in his life more.
I don’t think she has any intention of being with him, he lives 3.5 hours away. She also has texts from him where he referred to me as a “friend”
It actually is disrespectful for your married boss to tell you that you have pretty eyes. So focus on that– the dude is already being inappropriate, sleazy and unfaithful to his wife. Why would you want to be involved with someone like that? If his wife can't trust him not to flirt with his students, why would you trust him not to destroy your career in order to protect himself if something did happen between him? Recognize him for who he is and the crush will fade.
That's a good start.
Next time, as others have said, just focus on the “I like you” part. Nobody expects you to hard-commit before an actual date has happened. And remember, you're going to be surrounded by gazillions of people who aren't into you. So is everyone else on the planet. Don't make the mistake of letting someone think you belong to that mass of indifference if you don't.
Ask her if she’s getting married because she wants to spend the rest of her life with him.
When she inevitably hesitates, ask her if she’s more concerned about having a place to live.
Go from there.
Personally, I would hate to be in the kind of relationship where you're constantly in a kind of struggle against your partner.
I'd call off the wedding , but that's just me. You're not married and she's already showing you she's a greedy mercenary person, I really hope this is just another troll post aimed at rage baiting everyone
Of course it’s nude, trusting him is straight up illogical at this point because all evidence does (and always has) pointed to the opposite. I get it, I used to let relationships crash and burn too but trust me, you save yourself a lot of pain if you leave at the first instance.
You've done the right thing. It hurts now and it'll hurt for a while to come but it was still the right thing. Hold on to that when the times when you miss her feel like the worst thing ever and you'll doubt your decision – you did the right thing!
For now you should be focusing on self care. Eat well, even when you don't feel like it (little and often is good when your stomach is churning). Keep a lid on your drinking. It doesn't fix anything and only adds a hangover when you sober up. Crying is ok. Soak and snot your way through a box of tissues if it helps get the emotional pressure valve to loosen a little. It's all a part of the grieving process. Take as much time as you need before putting yourself back out there, even if well-meaning friends try to push you into it. You've got all the time in the world to find your new normal and open up to new possibilities so do what works for you. And most of all, if she comes back because the grass isn't as green as she thought it'd be then the answer if no. You aren't anyone's contingency plan.
Break up or don't get a dog.
I am super uneasy about the age gap, I usually go for women in their 30s, and feel weird about it.
Really only reason I was considering it was die to my BF advice. I figured if it wasn't creepy to a woman it wasn't creepy.
As for the coworker, I'm not too concerned about that. People hook up and or date coworkers all the time.
She isn't. She's wildly insecure that she drove him to being gay. Not a rational thing to think, but something that happens time and time again.
I did this with my ex because he wanted that fantasy and the shit backfired! Him thinking he was ready to share vs actually watching me get dicked down in front of him brought up insecurities I never knew existed!
Having spent the better part of my life in a small town, it's entirely believable. People can be cruel to someone who has just been a little stigmatized. It starts small then snowballs to a point where that person is a pariah in their town.
Did you seriously try to blame your cheating on your boyfriend? Do the responsible thing and own your mistake, you made the choice to cheat on him.
Another fake story.
Call police next time he threatens self harm. Break up.
And also, it sounds like YOU bought the house…..as in your name only…..I'm guessing bf is very resentful of this fact……or jealous……I'm guessing he's not wanting to do much to the house if it's not gonna be his……my opinion: I say run him off and enjoy your space…..there's been so many times I wondered why the heck I got married again….I love living alone……we have a good relationship but I do miss having all the space to myself……. honestly, if bf isn't making your life better, do you really want him around?!
Thanks you for offering your perspective. I see someone downvoted you, I wish they would elaborate. I definitely see where you’re coming from.
Dude, if you need a swift kick in the ass to get moving AWAY from this manipulative woman, just ask. Everyone in here will volunteer. You probably think she might stop lying after this… thats not how reality works, she's only going to get better at lying from here on out.
And because you had no sympathy for your girlfriend at all in this… that’s why you were victimizing yourself. “She agreed to this so she can’t complain now!!!”