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Birth Date: 1984-01-01
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I’d be VERY damned sure this isn’t just a stupid joke being brought up. Your friend doesn’t need your pity threesome that shockingly ends with both of them taking care of you. She doesn’t want to do anything with a woman. So this is basically just about you taking advantage of a friend you see as vulnerable.
people forget that fingers exist?
This is what I was thinking. Like possibly she had a shitty past and lost custody of him and is maybe working towards getting him back?
Not your business and she’s and adult that can make her own decisions, leave them alone
Incest is only a little weird to you? Are you ok with bestiality also as long as both parties consent?
The Westermarck effect proposes physical proximity in childhood fosters sexual indifference in adulthood.
It’s the evolutionary intervention to prevent incest given the increased risk of genetic problems from procreating within the same sibling group.
He’s not a pervert, he’s not weird. And he’s not attracted to his sister.
What he is is a male who is biologically primed to look for and at healthy female bodies.
If his sister has a good body, he may look at her but that doesn’t suggest sexual attraction at all.
In fact I’d guarantee, if you raised it with him, he’d be both embarrassed and confused – embarrassed because you noticed it and confused to think he’s being a creep.
Here boundaries are not legally enforceable. It's a veiled threat to put me off dating anyone. She assumes I am but nothing serious has happened, she was jealous that the other person liked me though but we are just friends.
Dump him, very simple
And how long have you known your husband is an out-and-proud moron?
Honestly, if I were him I'd be more concerned about passing on my obvious learning disorders to my children.
He knows. This is not a communications issue. To him, as long as you keep answering the phone, it’s a working system. It only stops being a working system when you refuse to carry his weight for him and stop answering the phone.
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And I know off the top of my head like 6 people who would have a problem with it… and we're 21-22, all liberal, not religious, open with our sexuality etc
I sleep around alot and am the farthest thing from a religious extremist and I would not be ok with this.
This is nonsense
That’s really what you took for this lol he’s no good
I'd reflect on the big picture: Is he just as loving, kind, attentive, and respectful as is customary in your relationship? Or do you sense a change, distance?
Is your partner working out more? Taking showers right when he gets home? Has he been buying new, more stylish clothing or new underwear? Do you have sex less frequently than usual? Has he recently changed his appearance or grooming? Does he seem irrationally annoyed by small things that never used to bother him? Does he seem to have an increased number of small errands requiring absence from your home?
This is cultural and/or religious, isn't it? And you're not safe.
He's not a good man. It's that simple.
Up to you if you want to keep staying with him. Leave, earn your kids respect, and enjoy your remaining years in peace.
How so?
On-line demonstrations are louder than words.
Tell him how much rent is. Aka his 50%
These are the crucial stages of a relationship that has passed the honeymoon phase, where you actually see the person for who they really are including their values. These are the small but important red flags that people tend to ignore and then wonder 3 yrs down the road, “why didn't I see this?”. You do see it but you rug sweep and hope for the best.
People who date parents have a responsibility to accept the partner as a packaged deal. The mother or father (ex) of the child will always be a part of their lives. It is especially important when that other parent is on good terms with the partner. Hell, even if you did get your child's mother a gift from yourself, what's the big deal if you have a civil relationship?
She's trying to control your relationship with them and honestly, if it were me, I'd have serious doubts about the entire relationship. This is the kind of step parent that waits for your back to be turned and then corners your child and whispers things into their ear about being a nuisance in the relationship. You find your own kid withdrawing from you and you don't understand why. It's the evil stepmother.
I know :p
If your boyfriend supported you through your struggles, watched as you suffered and spent time helping you then I totally get it. First he won’t want to see you go through that again as he cares about you and second it’s exhausting supporting someone who’s struggling with mental health and depression. Even if you are 100% on board with helping someone you care about her better. It would be frustrating to go through all that with you, see you getting better then watching you choose yo put yourself in a situation that could very likely put you back in the state you were before. He’d probably continue to support and be there for you if it was things outside of your control that caused it. The fact that you are choosing to take this risk is probably extremely disheartening for him.
No, it’s not sustainable and eventually she will probably resent the fact that when she’s with her family, she would constantly be in the position of explaining why her boyfriend refuses to be in the same room as them. Also, think about this logically: do you really think you could prevent your hypothetical children from EVER spending a holiday with her side of the family? What happens if you break up? You wouldn’t have control over whether she brings the kids around them when it’s her time for custody.
Best case scenario is that her dad randomly dies soon. Otherwise, I just don’t see your proposed arrangement functioning in the long term, especially if you want to get married and have children
…Why would be protect you from yourself? You’re a full grown adult
And don’t try to use being on the spectrum as an excuse for your behavior. I’m on it as well and I’m still responsible for what I say and smart enough to know not to get drunk if I can’t keep my mouth shut
I can't get past the 8/10 rating either. I'd have a hard time staying with a man who would rate my daughter.
bro you've known her since she was 5, why would you bang her
Basically things that make me feel like she's thinking of me, like she wants me. Texts saying goodnight, notes telling me how she thinks of me, her telling me she thinks herself, compliments, small gifts, her initiating sex, her asking to come over, asking me to come over, asking me to help because she knows Acts of Service is a big one for me.
Then there's also things like her taking initiative and doing relationships things herself, like bringing up sensitive topics instead of waiting for me to do everything, suggesting dates, telling me exactly what she wants instead of burying it and making me ask her multiple times before figuring out what it is she wants or needs.
It is dumb and petty but your fiancé was a bit of a dick to intentionally dishonor a simple request.
God, if she didn't cheat on you this has risen to the Larry David level of embarrassing. I can totally imagine a person feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty for unintentionally having an orgasm on a massage table. I can totally believe that she could have felt the build up and didn't think she could possible come from that. Then feeling confused enough to stay for the rest of the spa treatments, only then to feel so guilty that she confesses, but then lies because she's so embarrassed, and now you have caught her in the lie which means that she's dealing with even more guilt, shame, and embarrassment.
If this was a movie, I would have stopped watching by now because I have a problem with sympathetic embarrassment.
Thank you so much for your wonderful response!
When I got here there were 26 comments and all 26 of you are gullible morons. Jesus Christ, seriously, wise up.
Troll today, gone tomorrow
Cut your losses and cut them all off
Except the friend, I'm sure she already took care of that.
No, but grow up and acknowledge that you're not supporting her in the way she needs. You take care of your kids on weekends according to you. That's so wrong. Plenty of people have stressful jobs and still raise their kids. You are wealthy enough to afford it if you can reduce your hours. Your mother cannot help her with all household stuff. Your wife is breastfeeding two kids which is quite stressful. 2 human beings are touching her frequently every day. She's not just tired of the stuff she's doing, she's exhausted from giving so much of herself to sustain her babies. That's perfectly normal. You need to step up. Give her a few hours in a week where you take the kids and not for sex or trips but for her to sleep, watch something she wants, read, spend time with herself and feel rejuvenated. She needs some space and massages and dinners while very romantic are not the solution to an exhausted mother needing some alone time.
So I may have some wisdom here. I met my ex husband when we were 15, just about to turn 16. We got married at 19. I was his first real relationship and sexual partner. He was always upfront that he was bi, so that was the assumption we operated under. About a year after we got married, he found a rando on Craigslist and they had oral sex. He broke down, said he didn’t like it and he just needed to know once and for all, but that he was definitely not into it. I believed him, and we stayed together. We went on to have 2 sons and we’re pretty damn happy together. When we were 30 he came out as gay. I’m not here to say this exact situation will happen to you, but it was similar enough I felt compelled to share. I would have preferred to avoid the way things ended, and if it weren’t for my sons I would have preferred to end it sooner when he cheated on me. Take care of yourself, this is tough to navigate
His work schedule is his schedule, and your work schedule is your schedule. If you can't change those things then you need to learn to work with them. Where CAN you spend time together? Sounds like you're both around after 5pm so family dinner is do-able? Bed-time rituals with the kids? One dedicated night for the two of you to hang out together and watch a show or play a board game or talk? But none of these work if he isn't willing to put in the effort.
Him not coming home when planned and not updating you about that is a problem that can easily be solved – if he chooses to solve it.
I'm proud of you for stopping with a punch. Asphyxiation is a kink that is always discussed because you know… YOU COULD DIE! He assaulted you in placing his hands on your windpipe. You and he obviously were not extremely close in relationship.
My husband of 17 years might hold my wrist down, but 1)we're married, 2)been together for over 20 years, and 3) we have a trust that can include such.
This guy just thought “Cool. Let's get kinkyboots!” And just no.
The only reason I ever hear why people don’t do this is so they can squander their money without being second guessed by their spouse.
That’s why you should.
Is the friend who said she wouldn’t do that the one you posted about saying she wanted to take your fiancé?
If this is real, you gotta get away. There’s still time for an annulment
It could be the difference between 'the litter needs doing' vs 'can you please go do it', etc.
First off, learn the difference between chicken (the white meat named in your title) and beef (the red meat that you put in the bolognese.
Confess your deliberate action to sabotage something that's important to her, work on yourself to learn to value what's important for future partners.
“AITA/BORU stories”
And she wanted you to tell her about how you would feel if she went into some Kafkaesque wormhole.
I wish you both the best. And I hope you wise up to what she might really need from you. And it ain't AITA/BORU stories, my sweet child. Step away from the screens. You'll see.
Hard no
Fuck
Winston Churchill must’ve said that.
She probably won’t even care. She’s blindly in lust/love with an ex that she hasn’t seen In years. Her not having kids will be like new found freedom for her, until shit hits the fan
She kept in contact with him because he was nice to talk to? And she went there to hang out and smoke? No, she did that through her own decisions and knew the risks and consequences. It sounds like she was not forced to do anything.
You're still very young. I would move on fast if it were me, just would be hard to ever recover the relationship and trust.
Further, she may have put you at risk since it seems that you did not know about this for a while.
ew, do yourself a favor and leave, unless you’re trying to become a baby-shooter-outer. me and my man have been together 2+ years, and he’s never had to try to ‘make-me’ marry him. if you do stay, at least categorize this a red flag, and IMO, a very big one.
Ohhh Yeah. For real though they were super old and I forgot I had them cuz I dont care for nudes ??♀️ Bf had to have been scrounging through my photos
Wait, he’s so sick you thought he was going to have a heart attack, but you want him to clean?
Your husband needs to get a checkup. Then you both need to understand his treatment plan. Does he need full rest? Partial? To avoid certain triggers like harsh cleaners?
Then agree on what you both can do based on medical advice, not just finger pointing and blame.
At 22 years old behaving the way they do you can hardly call them “a man” xd
Sounds like he's manipulative and bad at bed for you not to crave it…
Fair enough. Thanks
Because people lie to each other not to hurt others feelings. How long they've been together does not matter.