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Give her your half of the money for the lease then peace out.
Soooo you're banking in his love for you, is that what you're asking? You're asking if he loves you enough he should be able to sacrifice himself for you?
He's not over his ex and even if he thought in his head that she was prettier he shouldn't have voiced that there's just some things u just don't voice
Sounds pretty normal to me, and sounds like you’re totally fine moving on. Don’t feel bad about it, you’re doing what’s best for both of you long term
OP I've already commented but just saw the edits.. I've read the comments but I think the advice is valid. This situation got out of hand. There's nowt wrong in having an involuntary feeling of arousal but imo insisting his is all platonic etc just sounds defensive…
You came here for advice. Some of it was harsh and OTT (like saying you're going to cheat etc). But for the most part we're all saying the same and telling you it's too much of a friendship and it needs nipping in the bud and you wife needs to hear what happened by saying your SIL was upset and needs her support right now, but you think she should support her with this as you aren't the right person to give her the comfort and advice she needs cos you didn't know what to say to make her feel better
You are a gullible SOB. Run.
Why? It sounds like he is abusive and cares more about video games than he does you.
Thanks I will also try there
What does “read him the riot act” mean?
Have a foursome with guy and girl. See what happens.
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Realistically how far would you be from your respective families if you both split the distance and move somewhere in the middle but in separate houses because you guys are still strangers
Tell your fiancé NOW. Such a shitty person you are. Such a shitty person you have been all along after that moment you knew that your relationship with your colleague was inappropriate and you did absolutely nothing to put a stop to it.
Assholes are going to asshole aren't you?
Your fiancé deserves so much better than the trash cheater you are.
She is not an athlete but she works about morning and night every day. She has an IG account with over 10 thousand followers and she seems to love it. She doesn’t want to listen to anyone telling her anything negative about her health
If you're worried about giving the child a good life, put it up for adoption.
Please change your mind. Don't fuck yourself out of a home and relationship. Especially if she wants to work on it. That's a huge thing.
Her question of “why today?” tells me you might want to think super naked about why the date that you happened to pick might have significance – previous relationship significance, death of a loved one significance, etc. Something that may have happened long before you two were dating that might make the day difficult, sad, or otherwise unworthy of celebration. For example, the anniversary of my dad’s death is a hot day every year, not very hot to the point that I make a big deal about it to other people, but if someone surprised me with a spa day that day, it might bring up some feelings.
DO NOT sell your house. Someone would have to pay me 10x the value at this point to get me to sell my house with my 2.3% interest rate and if you have anything close to that it would be the dumbest thing you could do right now.
Like you said, you haven't been together that long and if you break up you are the one who would be royally screwed.
we do go out, it’s like we go out with his boys and i’m just there with them, since he doesn’t want any other girl besides me
So what you do is send this back.
“Sorry you didn’t think my previous reply was sufficient.
Please that this as a reply to any future requests of a similar nature
NO!!!!!!”
Oh and in case you don’t know, you also need to leave her.
You deserve to open up about your past and be listened to and validated. It’s awful that she didn’t do that for you. What can you do? Realize that her true colours came through and it’s over. Get a therapist to help you process all of the trauma in your life. You deserve to be listened to with compassion.
She can’t admit it because you’ll tell your son and break his spirit.
How about no bjs until he learns to respect you and stops making you cry five times a week?
You need to get yourself some therapy to try and understand why you're even in this dysfunctional relationship. (Spoiler alert: it's not because you “really love him”).
girl just date someone better. long distance, worried about him talking to multiple girls?? what's the point? talk to another guy since it's totally fine?
Happy cake day!
Please seek psychiatric help. Even if you post history is trolling, and not legitimate, anyone who trolls like this also needs help.
Well, I've talked with her a couple of times about spending time on our own and she always either talks about how we're not together during school and that she doesn't have anything to do without me or says that she wants to be together as much as possible because next year we'll not be together because I'll move to another country for university. She has also talked about going to therapy (personally I hadn't brought up the matter but it was because of one of her friends that is forced by their mother to go there) however the reason was her family and not really our relationship. Not to mention that every time I bring any of this she instantly gets upset, thinks she isn't enough for me and doesn't talk for me for some time. I just love her enough that I feel extremely bad about myself for mentioning it and then I stay by her side to make her feel better.
Horribly abusive relationship, jfc. I am so so proud of you for escaping!!
Every lawyer and doctor I know loves the dumbest media imaginable. Reality TV, cartoons, romance novels, wrestling, whatever. Your boyfriend is behaving horribly and you need to let go of this idea that lawyers only enjoy opera and golf. You like what you like. It’s fine.
I'm about to be 20, this wasn't creepy at all when we got together. We met because he is my older brother's friend. We were very similar in maturity at the beginning. Our friends have the same age gap.
My question would be then, what qualifications do you have to make those determinations?
Could it be the brain tumour you said was terminal? That’s a huge fucking change for her.
You are strong and will get through this. I have been where you are. Just give it time.
even if she has a good reason, not telling you is cruel. it is not the cruelest but it is pretty cruel. you already pestered her, and you got your non-answer so it is time to move on. no closure is a closure. it means she is not a good person. think of it as mother nature played a horrible trick on you. you have to move on.
It's only been six months. That's nothing. She started the relationship on a lie. The subterfuge involved around the tickets proved it. She could have used that opportunity to come clean before you went on an expensive vacation. Instead she's hoping the sunk cost fallacy will work out in her favor.
All of that is very dishonest, immature, and manipulative. I don't know where you live but in the US she can't even go to a bar legally. She put you in potential legal jeopardy.
More than that, people go through profound changes between the ages of 18 and 25. She is just starting her life as a legal adult. Things may be fun now, but you're going to be entering your 30's at a time when she and all of her friends are still having casual relationships.
The age gap is a huge problem. But her immaturity and dishonesty is a dealbreaker. You're dating a teenager and she's acting like one. You're going to have to act like a parental figure if you stay because her way of getting out of trouble is to lie. You'll be questioning every odd situation now and wondering if she's telling the truth.
Now think about all the other potential conflicts in a serious relationship — fidelity, finances, careers, education, having kids, etc. She is nowhere near ready for this. Even if you aren't exactly looking for marriage, you need to break this off before it goes on any longer. Six months is barely an experiment. She's had multiple opportunities to just come clean and she never did. You had to find out the truth.
Don't even mention the word “snooping”. Just say you know how old she really is and the lying is a dealbreaker. Don't allow her to talk you into believing this was okay. This is not how you begin a relationship and you can't believe her teenage responses of “I won't do it again”, “I was going to tell you but I thought you'd be mad (like a parent)”, etc.
Just end things cleanly and go your separate ways.
My guess is your wife is gaining weight because she is married to a dude who makes cutting comments about her looks and is checking out her sister.
You don't think your wife is aware of the fact you are checking out her sister?
You need to make a decision about what you want. Do you want to be married or single? If you want to stay married, get into therapy to deal with your issue and stop checking out her sister. If you want to be single, I'm 99.9% sure her sister is NOT going to be interested in you after you break her sister's heart.
Even if that's true, she's still an adult who needs to act like a responsible human being instead of expecting someone else to pick up after her.
The fact that she's aware of it means she can work with/around it.
It IS a cop out.
To jump on this bandwagon OP.. fuck that chick!
Who tf tells a friend that their partner is only with them because he has mental issues?!
She sounds like a negative Nancy and ontop of that a horrible fucking person.
Screw those friends who tell you that u shldnt abandon this friendship either.
My opinion for friends is the same as for relationships. If something is toxic to you you can leave simply because you choose to!
You deserve friends who will uplift you not pull you down. I wouldn't trust her as far as i can throw her and I'm a tiny ass woman!
The fact u already stopped talking about your life in gen with her should be an indicator the friendships run it's course. You should want to be open with your bestie. I send mine ridiculous animal videos every day or just call her and say “hi i love u” and hang up.
You deserve friends like that! Not this miserable chick!
OP is 29 years old and they don’t live together and have been together less than 2 years. Listen, I can be gentle when it comes to abuse, emotional manipulation or some other issue out of their control but I find it weird when this sub puts on baby gloves for every single person. You’re a full on adult, your brain is done developing and you see examples of healthy and not healthy relationships around you for years now.
Have some self respect and stop being so desperate to not be alone you’re giving free labour for months in nike sweatshop conditions because you want a partner. People here aren’t helping her by not acting like this is anything other than pathetic and not normal. What are you doing here, girl? There are thousands of dudes out there who wouldn’t dude this. I don’t have a single male friend who’d turn their partner into week long slave labour when they don’t even have shared bank accounts. Leave the relationship, work on some self respect and find a normal dude. End of story.
yes, that is what i keep reminding myself but he said it so negatively its getting to me?
I'm not talking about a specific medical issue here. How are periods medical issue? UTI was just an example. As I said, race has nothing to do with it and edited that part in the post. If you really want to help, I would suggest you read the post again and really try to understand what I mean.
You’re sick. Do you get mad at people for getting sick? Of course not. You don’t want to be sick & can’t help being sick. She should be compassionate.
In sorry my dude? But she is definitely cheating on you. I wouldn't be convinced otherwise without video evidence.
I've never heard of the strawberry test. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Ratio?
Husband told me to find another man. He made me a profile on a dating app and told me to go be someone else’s problem. He also calls me a b*tch in front of our two sons while I remain calm, so, if you feel sorry for my kids it should be because of the behavior they’re learning from their father.
thank you very much for taking the time to comment.
I don't blame you! I had to move away from a very comfortable and rare seat at the mall today because some guy sat next to me and he reeked of the stuff. (it was pouring all day and the mall was packed!).
It's fine if she wants to smoke and it helps her (not my personal cup of tea, but that's not the issue), but she has to take responsibility for the smell. Be honest, gentle, but assertive. You don't dislike “her” or “her smell” , but the weed smell is giving you a headache/nausea. She can — change her clothes when she comes in, wash her hands, face, hair, etc. just like [tobacco] smokers do (or should do)