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Does he work? Usually the courts will garnish someone's wages if they're not on top of child support, but if he has no income there's nothing to garnish. Is he legally a dependent of someone in his family or does he just take money from them to fund his life? Does he have any sort of trust?
I would speak to a lawyer first to see what your options are, and if they are not optimistic about your chances of getting financial support from him, go to his family. It doesn't really matter what he thinks about you doing this as it sounds like you have no relationship and he's not going to be an involved father anyway so you have nothing to lose.
This comment, short and sweet, really put it into perspective for me. She definitely had these issues. Codependency because she used to say to me that she didn't wanna hang out with even her friends, just me. I'd try to encourage her and say, hey your friends love you and miss you, you should call them and make plans! And she'd say no I just want you…
And I guess when she didn't have me it made her anxious. I dunno why that all went out the window at the drop of a hat though.
Thanks for the insight I'll look into those issues!
Yup. Or move on to someone else
Did you cheat, though? You're not being clear on what's from your mental health and what's from the possible cheating? Also, the specific diagnoses you have might be relevant.
I think you did the right thing, good on you. Having to pay money out of your pocket does suck but consider it money well invested into a friendship. In a practical way karma is a very real thing, making the correct moral and ethical choices will continue to pay dividends more valuable than a few hundred dollars.
I’m not going back and forth about what I said go debate with someone else
Yep, toxic masculinity misogynists
Enjoying the feeling of keeping a loved one safe in a dangerous situation is the opposite of toxic.
I think with nudes it goes beyond just emotional. You should investigate whether there has been any other cheating including an outright affair. Nows the time to get it all out on the table, devastating if you try to recover from this and find out more later.
He sleeps with it under his pillow on the charger or I totally would!
We had an argument and I said how quick he is he cums in 3-5 mins then he said it's my fault because he doesn't like me anymore ? I've kicked him out
Let me put it that way. If it was mandatory by law, or if everyone man would simply do it regardless of their trust, then the world would be a better place, as no man would be deceived into raising someone else's child.
This is an insult and an accusation only if you decide to see it as such. Again, if this is what decided not against her, but as something he will do regardless of everything that might happen, it is perhaps even a good thing.
There are man that trust their partners and ended up being deceived. It doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your partner, but it means that doing paternity in general is a good idea. You can argue a perceptive person will get his suspicion anyway. Yes, but some people aren't exactly the sharpest in that regard.
Honestly he might not even be a father – not until a paternity test says he is. I'd suggest therapy for both of you and a lot of discussions about what you both want
Just leave him alone. It will be easier for you to move on and find someone who accepts all of what you are.
Judging by your reactions I do truly wonder what her side of the story is. You’ve put all the blame on her and praising yourself for doing normal things while she’s clearly going through PPD, and you are even considering leaving her due to this. The only time you took a little bit of accountability is you saying you “argue back”, but even that is apparently not entirely your fault.
I’m not saying she’s blameless in this, but as the other person mentioned I think some self reflection (and empathy) is needed. Obviously we won’t get the full story, but I always feel icky when I read that people fully blame the other person. It takes two to tango in these situations.
And i’m also not neglecting the fact that this time is hot for fathers. I see this in my husband as i’m going through pregnancy, he’s been such a champion. But we both chose to have this baby, and we accepted the consequences that come with this entire journey.