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In his defence he doesn’t raise his voice at me, but you’re right. He doesn’t shout but there is still a level of him taking things out of proportion, I think is what I was trying to say
I'm sorry you're forced to deal with such horrible behaviour from those who should be closest to you. State the facts the next time it's brought up. “I was sexually assaulted and none of you supported me”. Your mum was only concerned for your virginity ffs.
Then I'd just withdraw quietly from as many family events as you can and grey rock any attempts to bring the conversation around to your perceived faults. Once they no longer get a reaction from you they will move to picking on someone else. I'm hoping you are at least living in your own place? Your husband is a gem, but I'm concerned that if you confront your mum she will twist it even more in her favour.
Keep being the model employee. Your mum will naturally divert her attention once the grandchild appears so if you're keeping the business going then this will absorb you while you look for an even better position across country.