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You ARE making things worse.
When two horse are pulling very hot against each other,
you don't lash one to make it pull “harder”.
Instead you settle both horses down and
sooth them so that they stand quietly.
This “I'll show Him/I'll show her” shit will get you nowhere.
Tell your SO you want to call a “truce” until you are both together and then
talk it through about where you both see this Bond going.
I'm not saying it will come out one way or another, but that feeling
of being respected has been know to mend a lot of rickety bridges.
Just sayin……
no worries, it was stuff i needed to hear. one thing you can count on reddit for is pretty blunt advice, even though it's not always comforting or easy.