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If you read her post, it already isn't just the video games. He's an unemployed deadbeat dad who does nothing for his children, wife, or household. Gaming is just a symptom of the larger issue that he contributes absolutely nothing to their marriage or parenting.
You keep saying it’s a preference and ppl keep telling you to stop being clingy/needy/controlling, what exactly are you looking for here because it’s not advice. You’re very defensive.
I have friends but I'm not sure if I can turn on them because I see they have problem also
Sounds like you've had some trauma bonding and can relate with her, my suggestion like anyone with a crush, is to take time and distance your self maybe date around. It'll be all good in time.
Update: he doesn’t want to talk about it
If she’s worried about pregnancy she can get the shot or UID that lasts for 3 months at a time or more. Plus condoms, if she really wants the extra protection.
He also only views her as a sex toy.
Don’t The baby will probably have a very weird upbringing comparatively to others their age. I have old ass parents and it fucking sucks. I’m 14 and my mom is 50. She doesn’t understand me in the slightest. A 40 year age gap between you and your child will fuck you both up. If your wife is just going to “be that way” then take some time away from each other, come back and try and sort things out with a fresher perspective.
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I'm not sure why this post was down-voted so hard. I've literally been raped and then abandoned by the only person who was there for me. Even if you disagree with my relationship issue, you can just move on instead of down-voting.
Why would this be grounds for an annulment?
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Make a list with everything booked. Call all of them and break the news and ask what of it can be returned, payed back etc. Then right an E-Mail that the wedding is off and if the people with E-Mail should the ones who don't have it. Tell them that she and you have different destinations in life and they should please respect your privacy.
Don't marry someone if you can't be direct and honest with them. Just tell him that, while it may have been funny at first, it's starting to grate on you and you'd appreciate it if he stopped doing it.
Well if you have to go through your husbands phone with out his permission, whatever happened to get you to that point, either him being shady or you having trust issues shows your relationship is already dead. On top of that him lying and hiding it. But now you’re suppose to believe they didn’t sleep together? Nah, trust is broken, so is the relationship.
You have to give her time. I on-line in a city where the social crowds are kind of mixed and interlinked. So many people have dated each other but are now friends. My bf is also in a group and often goes for parties where his ex is.
I used to spiral just like your girlfriend and cry and fight. But then once my bf gave me assurance by treating me right and showing me I am his priority, basically making me secure. It stopped bothering me. I don’t care where he goes and does what now because I know how strong we are together. So slowly try and build that trust and security.
It’s been just 4 months of being official. Take it slow. Explain it to her nicely without getting defensive.
Let me break it to you. It won't. And, I'm just going by the odds because I'm a betting man. So, make the most of it while it's there.
This is the thing though, I can’t imagine being with anyone else. We want to get married and I want to be with him and only him. I thought I was aromantic too but I have felt feelings of physical attraction and you know butterflies before..
I'd like to redirect your negative thoughts to that's the best sex she had before you and that ended, for whatever reason, and now you have the opportunity to give her the best sexual experiences of her life. Keep communicating, keep experimenting, just keep it going.
I'd like to give you some food for thought. Sometimes the best sex isn't the 20-30 mins of the act itself, but all of that prior built up sexual tension from the day. Casual little touches in the morning, incospicuous comments along the day and then all of that met at then end of the day with some serious sensuous sex.
I did miss that. My bad. Either way, you still did make a scene and blamed your boyfriend. He’s not at fault here.
How a person handles a no says a lot about their character.
And the fact that you even think she might sabotage your life makes me wonder why you are even dating someone you don't trust?!
It sounds like he brings nothing meaningful to the table in this relationship as it currently stands. The only way he'll score someone who's not bothered about him never being around is if he's rich and they don't really like him. And he's definitely not rich yet. No wonder his gf is so frustrated, she's no where on his priority list.
Wow… 🙁
Very few posts around here have given me a gut-punch reaction as this one…
You guys were cuddling and he just told you he “hated you”? WTAF?
I understand your heart-break, and if it were me, I would not stay with him. Scum.
The way your “husband” and his family are treating you, as if you are irrelevant, makes my blood boil.
Get a lawyer and best of luck, OP.
She never “felt bad” about lying, using, manipulating…
You have a good heart… she never it or appreciated you. Don’t be a doormat. Stand up for yourself. You’ll find a woman who will appreciate everything you have to offer.
i just want to say that the way i phrased that can be kinda misleading.
but i also want to understand that if i expressed discomfort abt him gg somewhere, and he still went, i wld be p upset too. but yes igi, this behaviour can be deemed as controlling.
Since we were 16 & 18.
What he said was one evil wake up call.
Plus: he likely mentally has abused her for years already.
And has done so from the very start of their “relationship”.
Projection. He feels bad about himself and takes it out on you. Maybe therapy would help. It depends on how long you are willing to put with it. GL and keep up the positive life changes!
Be glad you don't have kids; awful as it is that will make the split much easier. Kids are a life long connection.
How do you imagine this plays out? You say that you're best friends, and I believe you that that is true for now, but this post is flirting – if not outright seething at times – with resentment and contempt for your partner. That's not something that you come back from in a relationship, and it's not something that you can ignore and still be best friends in spite of. This will ruin your relationship. It sounds like it already is.
You don't have kids, so even if your lives are intertwined right now, you can disentangle, however challenging it may be, and not be tied together for the rest of your lives through shared children.
Also, you have been together for a long time, and maybe this is a season that you can come back from. I have my doubts – from reading enough stuff on here – in encouraging you down that path, but I also don't want to ignore the fact that you've been together a long time and maybe this is something you grow from together. Who knows?
Lastly…kids. Actually, firstly, kids. Because this is probably the thing that makes all else moot. If you want kids, and she doesn't, then there is no reasonable or fair path forward. It's an all or nothing proposition. Kids are wonderful and raising them is abso-fucking-lutely an amazing experience…if you want to. If you don't, if you do it against your will, the hard times will feel so naked. Just don't put either of you through that. If you want kids and she does not, then part amicably. Don't hold it against each other. You're still both young enough that you have plenty of life ahead, and can both create your own families should you choose. But it sounds like that is not in the cards for the two of you. Don't be angry, if you can avoid it.
Who hurt you so badly that you believe this is as good as it gets for you?
Sweetheart, a good therapist can help you break this cycle. The hard truth is that you're always made to feel like you're on the wrong side because you accept that treatment for yourself. It is so naked to recognize and break the toxic habits that trauma has created for us but I promise you it is worth it to do the work to heal yourself.
You deserve soft love. You deserve unconditional love, especially from yourself. Love yourself enough to believe you deserve better than this, you do!
Life is so much better when you can love yourself, no matter what mistakes you've made. You deserve to feel the freedom that good Therapy can provide.
OP update us after some shady shit goes down. I just want to see what all these delusional Redditors have to say.
Creep all the way. There is no circumstance where a 50 yr old should behave that way towards a 21 yr old.
He was fuckin your neighbor, doesn’t seem like you figured that out.
That's a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't be able to get past that. I.am so.sorry you are going through this. You gut instinct to leave the relationship is worth listening to.
You don’t have to have a relationship with your sperm donar if you don’t want one, in fact you don’t have to have a relationship with anyone you don’t want one with.
Sorry to say but if you're going to hide this from her then that will be a red flag for her as well….
I am a woman of 38 years and I love getting stuffed animals. Not every stuffed animal, but those I can use as pillows or anything that is a rabbit is 100% something I will treasure.
One more time. Explicitly tell him what you need after sex. It's going to be difficult for him to remember after sex. You might want to cue him to remind him. But that doesn't mean doing all the work. If he gets on his phone or goes into the next room? I would recommend vacating your bed. Tell him beforehand you will do this if he cannot meet your needs in this way. And then follow through. Spend the night elsewhere. Grab a pillow. Snag a blanket. And dip. You will feel extra sad. But it is better to be actually alone than to feel alone next to a partner who is checked out. You're going to receive the amount of care you require from him. We are all Pavlovs dogs. You might need to condition your partner to take better care of you. Find a door that locks and get behind it when he makes you feel less then.
But please try to understand it's not about you, what he is doing. Some people need that. After such a close encounter? They need some space. But you need five minutes of love. You get your needs met? And leave room for him to do his thing.