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  1. If you already told her you would go with her and – most importantly – she has already RSVP'd for you then you have to go with her, the end. And that's your own fault for not standing up for what you wanted.

    But if you haven't made an actual commitment to go with her then yes, tell her you want to each go to your separate events. Remind her that she will be very busy with all kinds of wedding prep stuff, will be seated at a different table than you and you will, in general, be a low priority to her during that event and considering how important it is to you to be at your friends wedding, you don't feel it's right to be an afterthought at her event.

    And to be absolutely clear, if you said anything even resembling 'yes' to going with her, you have to go with her. So: 'probably' or 'sure I guess' or 'I suppose', that's a yes. If you very clearly said something to the effect of “I'm not sure, I have to think about it and I'll get back to you”, you're in the clear. But if you two have been having any conversations as though it's a yes and you're going, you're fucking going.

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