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You are doing the right thing, leave the POS. Oh, and include cops as well and press charges.
it must be much easyer for gay guys to get laid compared to m-f because we are horny af all the time and hook up culture so his number does not shock me. I think that you are hurting over this because your numbers are not close but more importantly that you have been in a long term relationship while he has done his thing. its ok to strugle over somthing like this but the important thing is that you two have sayed in this relationship a long time and that he told you the truth when you asked. I personaly would much rather have someone tell me the truth about there body count when first asked, to me it shows trust. it maybe nude for you to know this number but that is the burden love
Nope nope nope. You have a valid boundary. He is choosing to stomp on that. You can't have complete trust and simultaneously stomp all over the boundaries of the person whose trust you want. I'm not usually one to say to break up, but this would be a nude pass for me. Drop this POS.
Wow … dude .. ok yeah , I am a woman, and I just read all of the post and I have to say…I think you lead her on. You pushed her into a relationship that she didn’t want..she thought was not appropriate, and then told her you cared about her…loved her and then…let her fall in love with you …knowing she was and still didn’t shut it down , you pretended like you loved her back , talking about having kids and marriage…and then she wants a commitment and you shut her down.. Wow man That’s not ok She will never trust another man ever You were her best friend and we trust our best friends to shoot us straight ..not lie to us…then you were her lover too…and you tricked her ..her ability to trust a man with her heart is shattered…. I would be so devastated and heartbroken Best thing you can do is say you’re sorry and leave her alone The more you involve yourself in her life , the more you will hurt her. Walk away and let her heal Not cool man I hope you made the right choice Cause I bet she is a great woman I’m sorry you don’t see that you were wrong ..cause that part would suck the most for me… Good luck in love. I hope she finds peace and you find what you are looking for in someone else
Nah man you did her dirty, no matter what you guys agreed on, you led her on by talking about a possible future. Totally agree with her, even if it was short term, you made it seem like it could become long term. You fucked up, stop trying to shift blame and take responsibility. There's only one victim here and that's her.
No in my opinion it’s not normal but people think that it’s a normal thing.
Asking a partner about things in regards to their previous sexual history offers nothing positive in a relationship and the only thing that comes from it is negativity and it opens up insecurities in that person, even if that person doesn’t ever or hasn’t ever been or had any insecurities.
Answer me the question, what value, or what positive affect does knowing something sexually that your partner has previously done? Or how would that improve or benefit your relationship with that person? There isn’t anything and I remain to be given a valid reason for knowing such information.
When you get with a new partner and you don’t know anything about their previous sexual history or sexual experiences the same thing with not knowing their relationship history then you have a totally blank canvas to learn about they person, what they like or don’t like sexually, what is okay and what isn’t and you go through it together.
However knowing a partner’s previous sexual history or experiences and with who and what they have done with others only ever leads to that partner becoming self conscious, losing their self esteem and confidence etc because they start saying to themselves “well my girlfriend said she always climaxed with her previous partners but she doesn’t with me, what am I doing wrong? Don’t I do it right? Doesn’t she find me attractive? Don’t I turn her on?’ It always leads to those types of scenarios where the new partner ends up comparing themselves to their partners previous sexual experiences that they have been told about and they end up destroying themselves.
Just look at the OPs post for proof of what I am saying the OP is comparing the fact that he had been in a relationship with his girlfriend for a significant amount of time and he is saying that she hardly has anal with him and he is comparing it to the amount of times that his girlfriend has had anal with a guy she met on Tinder! He has mentioned Tinder specifically because he obviously feels that is hookup scenario and he is a long term boyfriend and he is thinking how come she did all that anal with him and more and she doesn’t want to with me? He also went detailed and said that he and his girlfriend always use poppers (amyl nitrite) with each other but now he has found out that she has used them with this same Tinder hookup and his own words are that he thought that was one of their firsts together that he thought was personal to them and now he is destroyed that it isn’t- another thing that he is comparing.
Whereas if he didn’t know at all about his girlfriends previous sexual history or experiences then he wouldn’t be in this situation with his mind and brain going a hundred miles an hour and he would actually be happy with how things are, so much so he wouldn’t even be thinking that he isn’t getting enough anal with her and he would be totally happy with the anal experiences he has shared with her.
The ONLY caveat to this in my opinion where it is positive to disclose your previous sexual history with a partner is if you have been subjected to sexual abuse or assault of any kind previously and as a result of the trauma you unfortunately have situations where you are triggered in certain sexual circumstances as a result of your previous assault, it’s important to let your partner know in these circumstances so you don’t harm yourself by being unnecessarily triggered and re-traumatised by something that your partner may do, even then I believe you should limit what you say to those particular triggers
Sounds pretty clearly about not trying to sleep with her if you’d been sleeping with somebody else
So from a medical stand point a lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm. For a whole host of reasons.
Many that are comfortable with themselves are ok with it and take pleasure in pleasing you. That has been my personal and professional experience.
Part of me wants to break up with her, but I just think it'll be such a waste because everything else was great.
The emphasis is on “was”. This is why you shouldn't plan too far ahead when you're still 19/20. You have zero clue how you're going to change, you have zero clue how compatible you actually are longterm. Why would you think about buying a house with someone you've never even lived with in 2 years?
Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. This relationship is clearly not working at this point….and even if it was, how are you going to handle the conflict with your sister and mum?
Coming from parents who had me at age 40, I think it would be selfish to have another child at your ages especially with a sibling who’s so much older. You shouldn’t give in just because she’s having a midlife crisis. That kid will basically be an only child and the both of you will be fairly old by the time their big life milestones come around. It’s not fair to do that to another child.
I think this is kinda crazy honestly. She’s not asking you for an open relationship. She’s just saying hypothetically she could see herself enjoying one. That is different from asking you to open the relationship and personally I think it would be stupid to throw away a good relationship over a hypothetical
You are saying you drink maybe once a year and can have the equivalent of 12-14 shots in a short period of time “without a problem”? Your BAC would be more than 0.3%. You would be unconscious on the floor and possibly in need of medical attention.
I really think you're either overestimating how much you drink or… I dunno. But 12 shots for an alcohol naive person is unable-to-move, throwing up, possible in need of medical attention territory.
So many red flags, that this post almost seems fake. Run! He is dangerously manipulative & you are an easy mark. Run.
I just want this comment to be on every highway sign on her next commute to work.
Just make sure you go after child support through the courts, don’t trust a word he says if he wants to provide without involving the courts because he won’t. And if he has a secret family and they find out well that’s a bonus and that’s karma coming to get him.
My gf of 2 years made friends with a coworker who is in an open relationship. And my gf is very intrigued by it.
Of course. Her friend is giving her only the highlights of the relationship. It seems ideal and intriguing in theory. But in practice there would be a lot of downside that her friend has not communicated.
You should talk to her about this and see how she reacts. Any pushback to have an open relationship and you realize you are not on the same page.
Open relationship for most men is an unfair tradeoff. Most men. I am sure there are excpetions but for most men the numbers just don't work out.
Run. Run for the hills! And get that CS! I really hope you and baby will do well
It's not illegal, but it's creepy AF.
For whatever reason your daughter doesn't want you at her wedding. Your wedding gift to her can be respecting those wishes and wishing her all the best anyway, from afar.
It would be great if you could address your issues together if possible, but don't tie them to her wedding. Weddings are stressful enough. Let her have her day, as she wants it, without making it about you.
Meanwhile, look inward and ask yourself if there may be other reasons for her to distance herself from you. My mother was/is stunning while I am fairly average, and I've never had a reason to resent her for that.
Honestly, I would be done. There is no amount of sushi and/or flowers that would make me forgive this violation of privacy. 4k is not a lot of debt, and it sounds like you are responsibly paying it off. Kudos to you!
I don't, they all think they're mature for their age.
*I'm not victim blaming, I just hate seeing people suffer and not being able to truly do anything about it.
I think that's her guy, she just changed some things.
Not only is the blackmail illegal but so is distributing nudes without consent. Not gonna lie, i'm honestly angry on my husband's behalf for that. I fully believe he should have his right to privacy if this was just virtual stuff. Something I feel I deserve some knowledge about but if its nothing physical, this is just a different form of porn to me and I don't consider it cheating. I'm pretty angry with the lying though. But yes, he's firm on filing a police report. We will be doing that when he gets back.
I don't think you are toxic, but you either trust your girlfriend or you don't. Her overtime has nothing to do with this and is a distraction. I'm really sorry but it doesn't seem like she treats you very well.
I think you may have figured out why he’s divorced: he’s toxic. It may be time for you to rethink if you want to stay with him if he’s going to be this disrespectful.
This isn't going to get easier with time. I know it sucks but it's going to be much harder the longer you stay. Do you have a good friend who you can stay with and give you some emotional support?
If Thanos can kill his daughter for a silly rock then you can break up with a cheater for your own sanity.
Made it to the line where you were caressing her anus and immediately imagined you in prison on r* charges having your anus caressed. Because that's where girls like this are going to get you with false accusations, in a whole lot of anal caressing trouble. Anus caress.
There are a number of things that indicate the story is BS.
His girlfriend could have gone to fucked this guy at anytime as the age of consent in the UK is 16; she didn't need to wait till he was 18 You don't need a VISA to enter the UK from the USA for tourism or visiting friends/family for up to 6 months, so the talk about a VISA is false.
Just have a wank
Don’t date women that mouth off in confrontational situations. They’ll get you killed and are a liability.
Yes
Straight males don’t cuddle with their bros lmao
I only mentioned her meds because I was upping my own dosage. I never yell, I am always very calm and respectful. Even when she starts yelling at me and getting mean
Uh yeah. That would be a hot no and it has nothing to do with you being 32 weeks pregnant. First of all he’s visiting a female, someone he met on-line and plays games with. He says you can’t afford to do the nursery, but has the money to go away with his ‘friend’. Also says he doesn’t want to go on a trip with you, he would rather go away with some girl he met online. Yeah no.
Stevie Wonder can see it!
Chowing your sister over your daughter over and over? Yikes
And as soon as I heard “just like her father” I knew EXACTLY what kind of parent you are. Shame on you.
Someone said it right: it’s a hostile environment so you want to get out with your kid while you still can. Sure, she may not have the life you had, but she won’t be in an unhealthy environment
what does it say about your mental health that your first instinct is to assume the worst when something good happens?
Also, what does it say about the healthiness of your attitude towards this relationship, OP?
Sounds like she’s just got a fun sense of humor and you aren’t used to having these types of conversations with a female so are trying to understand if it’s more than it is.
Thank you so much for such an affirming, beautifully written post! The point that it’s always scary to help strangers is true and one I had not considered. This is a thoughtful perspective and perhaps it is one reason the thought of messaging her makes me so anxious. I do think the moral thing is to message her, it’s just fear and self protection that’s holding me back. Thank you again for your input, I appreciate you taking the time.
LMAO
If he wants a future with you, then why are you still only engaged 2 years later? Why haven't you set a date? What's he waiting for? He's certainly not getting any younger. In your post he seems to be giving you excuse after excuse why he can't give you what you want. How much longer are you willing to wait?
Being away from work does not automatically nean being untrustworthy. She didn't know he'd be away for work? Then she shouldn't have married him. Or filed for divorce if he got the job after the wedding and she wasn't okay with it. So yeah, his wife is exhibiting creepy behaviour, and if anything, it looks like she might be cheating, so she's tracking the OP's location to know when he'll be home.