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That's a hell of a jump. Tou got raped? Or casual you both fucked up.
The inappropriate part is the rape part. How is that the jump you made?
It’s very very possible that once treated that divorce threat is treated too and you can get back to your wife. Good luck and good job. This is so naked.
Thanks for your input
Like similar posts here, I’d like see it as a slight red flag, it’s clear you feel remorse for your actions, you didn’t hurt anyone, why is she lowkey holding a grudge over some nut that can be removed with a little elbow grease? Does your nut smell? Are you giving us the full story OP
His feelings are completely valid and I am not right here.
Her main focus is herself finding out the truth when it does not even involve her. A lot of people couod be hurt from her insistence. Let sleeping dogs lie.
It's a big red flag to me that a 40 year old man with 2 full time dependent children is talking marriage with a 23 year old metre months into dating. He's got responsibilities as a parent not to rush into things exactly like this. His kids need to come first, and foisting a 23 year old “new mom” onto them is majorly failing in those responsibilities.
Mine doesn’t. He thinks it’s naked. He’s “caught” me a few times and wiggles his eyebrows and grins at me “carry on gorgeous“ he says
Charlie is what you call a temporary person. Don't destroy your entire relationship with your family over someone temporary.
Before I answer the first question, you need to answer the second question. Have you done anything wrong? Have you cheated? Have you lied to him?
Before she passed she made us promise that we would keep Rose away from her family
This is your answer. Her wishes take precedence until Rose decides otherwise. If / when Rose expresses at some point in the future that she would like to meet her mother's family then it becomes a different situation, but her asking once about the family doesn't reach that threshold.
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“When I mention to him, calmly, that he yelled at me about tampons and it wasn't tampons…he got angry and said he'd scream at me again if needed.”
Screaming at your partner repeatedly (since they found out abot the clogging, through the trip in the car, until the plumber arrived – this wasn't a couple seconds of lost control) is abuse. Threatening to do it again is abuse. If it was a woman doing it to a man, it would also be abuse.
And please don't call someone a snowflake with regards to a person terrified of their partner who has angry outbursts directed to them. It's a normal response to abuse to be scared, and it's a good choice to leave someone who abuses you and threatens to do it again.
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I’m polyamorous. The umbrella of an open relationship is ethical non-monogamy.
“but after some convincing, he agreed.” Sorry to be blunt, but what the fuck, OP? This is called “polyamory under duress” and is considered extremely unethical in this type of relationship structure.
What work did you put into opening this relationship? Did you do any research? Did you talk about rules and boundaries? How was your marriage before you opened it up?
I wouldn’t consider this cheating. It’s the product of a messy ENM relationship.
What did you expect, OP? It seems like you only thought about this from your own needs.
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TLDR: I love to cook and love when people tell me they like my cooking. My bf says it’s weird and he doesn’t like that I’m constantly fishing for compliments.
I’m 22F, my bf is 24M, we’ve been together for 2 years and living together for 2 months.
I love to cook. I always wanted to be a chef but i was dissuaded from that path and now I work in HR. But I love to cook and especially cooking things for people I love. It’s kinda selfish because I love it when it people tell me they like my cooking. Ngl I thrive on that validation so I jump at the chance to cook for people.
One of my girl friend’s father recently passed away. I offered to cook her some meals so she didn’t have to worry about cooking and could focus on herself. I made her a lasagna, a Shepard’s pie, stuffed shells, and some chicken noodle soup. I was pretty much cooking for an entire day, but she has enough food to last her at least a week, probably more, and she can just toss it in the oven and not have to stress about cooking and cleanup. I packaged it all up and personally delivered it to her doorstep. My bf was kinda weirded out and finally admitted to me he thinks it’s weird that I crave validation so much that I would use my friend’s father’s death to get compliments. I was super confused.
Do I love when people compliment my cooking? Yes. But that is also how I show I care. He also pointed out that I always offer to cook when we have people over and that I’m constantly fishing for compliments by doing so. Again, yes, I LOVE when people like my cooking, but I also just enjoy cooking for the people I love. Am I the weird one here? How can I change this? Should I stop cooking for people?
Some people see things in a power dynamic. You really dont know if that is the case here or not.
Do you like to tell people you are a feminist?
The problem is that you're equating bigger to better, which is very obviously not case.
Too big is not the same as too pretty. A better comparison is if his was so tight that sex was too painful to enjoy.
If it's not going into you, then it's easy to assume that bigger=better. If it's going into you, then there's a point where bigger=infinitely worse than none at all.
All depends on the person and their specific boundaries though
Totally agree with you there. I just wish OP would realize that if this level of betrayal is so naked for him to handle, there’s zero chance he recovers from 3 months of her actually dating/being intimate with other people.
Yah, TikTok is such a personal website. My husband gets comedians, I get women complaining about their abuse, and dog trainers, and I'm trying to get more dancers, and comedies and my son gets political stuff.
I’ve asked him about it and other things that have happened on several occasions and he refuses to discuss it. “Change the record” he says. Or just tells me to shut the fuck up. Like not even joking. He refuses to give me answers and I think that’s what drives me so insane
Thank you, I will take some time and think about it for a while before I make any final decisions.
UpdateMe!
You don’t know this guy at all. He’s not real and has fashioned himself to pander to your ideals. It’s like he has no personality. Many people have dark times, but not many dream of nor aspire to sexually assault their crush. The mask has slipped and you’ve got what sounds like a psychopath on your hands, especially because nothing about this guy is authentic. Be very careful. You definitely should break up, but you could wind up with a stalker or worse. Protect yourself.
Man ur an idiot. It's as if not everyone does things the same way that u do.
It’s not offensive to you, but she took it to be offensive and made her own comment and from there it spiraled. Humor is subjective and sometimes can be perceived negatively
They both could have handled it better and get better at communicating with each other.
You’re learning an important life lesson here. You’re learning that it’s totally possible to fall in love with only one side of a person and ignore every other thing about them that hurts or bothers you. You don’t love HER, you love someone like her who isn’t a selfish pig. The woman you’re dating doesn’t love you enough to let you eat. Wake up dude
Brother if giving up this small amount of freedom is so significant to you, maybe you should realize you're not ready for the next step of the relationship.
How are you going to react when your gf ask you to do something bigger than this? You either have to change or you have to find someone who's okay with your current behaviour.
Break up and move on and date someone whos childless and doesn't mind you walking around half naked. Stop wasting each others time.
Put bluntly, the kid(s) aren't yours and you shouldn't be paying for them. You've been funding her entirely for the last 9 months? If she wants future financial stability, she shouldn't be relying on you for that.
X10000 this. Thanks MarsAstro, you did a good thing writing this today.
This is the thing. He said he kept the pictures, but insists he never used them to get off (again, idk if that matters), and he insists he wouldn’t get a lap dance but just wants to be able to go to stripclubs. Idk, I feel gaslit and I can’t trust my judgement anymore.
It's just another European country. They tend to have similar laws.
For similar reasons.
Sometimes people are just not sexually compatible. This sounds like the situation here. Sexual incompatibility is a perfectly valid reason to break up.
I was you when I was 18 too. Please end it. It never gets better, you just become his mother maid when you move in together
You’re right I should’ve thought he won’t change magically and I can’t keep pushing him to. Thank you !
Tell him you still love him, but you cannot be with him unless he becomes an atheist. You don’t want to live! the delusion that is being married to a believer.
The ball is in your court I guess. Ask him straight up.
You take over as coach and Den Mother and leave both at home.
I almost read it as “I will pick up YOUR tickets later so me and my pal can go on that exact trip and you won’t “
I almost read it as “I will pick up YOUR tickets later so me and my pal can go on that exact trip and you won’t “