Yeah that makes sense but I wouldn’t entirely that there wasn’t anything else beside just nudity. He did start lightly sexting me in the room with his brother but if you are right and he is just comfortable with him than it isn’t weird and I need to get my head out of the gutter.
I know that’s why I was scared to whole time and I didn’t know what to do. But now I’m sure that I have to tell the truth. Yeah maybe a third party wouldn’t be that bad.
Yeah, you definitely dodged a bullet. There's no reason for her to contact you months later just to brag. You're better off without someone that childish.
Why would you spend £150 on a co worker? No wonder your woman was pissed. You’ve went and bought another woman a pricey gift so it does look suspicious. You ended it, so na not cheating.
Your son didn't inherit his blood type from your mother. You inherited yours from her and your dad, as your husband inherited his from his parents. Your son got a mixture of your genetics and your husbands, and this resulted in his blood type. You and your husband both carry the gene for type O, which is recessive and therefore not expressed in either of you. Your son happened to inherit both O genes. So you, your mother, and your son all have the same O gene, but your son needed to also inherit an O gene from your husband in order to express the O type. If you have more children, there is a 75% chance the next one will be A, and a 25% chance they will be O.
What’s HE doing to shake things up? Why does the responsibility of making things more exciting for him fall on your shoulders? You’re not his court jester, retained to keep him entertained. You’re his partner, and relationships inevitably have stretches of routines especially when both partners are very busy and stressed.
I’d suggest sitting him down and each making a list of cheap/free date night ideas so you guys have new experiences to look forward to. Suggest that you alternate, so one week it’s your idea, the next week is his. The burden is on both of you to put in the effort you want to see.
Break up with him. It’s situations like this, I feel like your partner is either trying to gaslight you or he truly doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions because this is definitely not your fault. It’s clear your partner is the one with the problem and insecurities. The fact that’s he’s trying to convince you that this is your fault makes me think he’s trying to gaslight you.
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I feel sorry for this younger generation. Even my own kids. It's going to get to the point you're going to have to have a lawyer write up a consensual contract to make a move. Won't that be spontaneous and romantic. Here let's sign the legally binding contract to have our first kiss.
I would celebrate the trash taking itself out and block him back.
Breakups suck but it’s better to know now than a month before your wedding. Where are your friends? Hit them up and go out on the town. What are your hobbies? Chug a coffee and ice skate, play basketball, or crochet, whatever it is you love. Join meetup and meet new friends. Watch the saddest movie you know and cry. Then watch the most funny one and laugh. You will get through this I promise. Breathe. Just take it a day at a time.
I saw red flags when I read that you’re seeing a guy but not in a relationship at his insistence because he wants to make sure you’re both compatible, yet he doesn’t want you to see or date anyone else. Yeah, that’s doublespeak for you sit at home while he has sex with other women.
Does it annoy your boyfriend, too? If not, you have a boyfriend problem. Check out the sub r/JUSTNOMIL. It will open your eyes and maybe give you some tools to work with.
But why is he sleeping with someone he doesn't trust? That's such a silly idea on his part. Getting laid is not worth all the risks he'll be putting on himself by sleeping with someone he can't trust. Men, please keep it in your pants if you don't actually trust the person you're sleeping with, ladies too. Please be safe, use protection, make informed decisions and only sleep with people whom you trust and feel safe with.
So he thinks your perfectly normal response of calling the police in that situation is a betrayal and psychotic, but can’t see that if he actually shot a blank into the ceiling to get a reaction out of you it would be abusive and psychotic?
He’s a fuck buddy so of course he’s going to push limits and explore his fantasy. That is the sole purpose of your whole relationship. If you don’t like it find a new one. You’re not in a committed relationship so you both can move on to other preferences and see other people too.
Because she's gaslighting him, by defintion. It's fucked up.
She said “let's agree to do things this way,” did them a different way, and is insisting that her husband is wrong and she's actually doing what they agreed. It's clearly causing mental distress to her partner, because she's full-on denying his reality. That's a big deal, and it would seriously bother most people.
If you “figure it out after the fact”… you’ll be parents. So zero BC is definitely NOT an option. You must do what is best for you, your physical, mental and emotional well being!
How he can equate a condom with hormonal birth control is ludicrous. He’s being immature. He may also not be worth your investment.
See it like this: Who else did he tell about this? This is a guy he barely know and he brag about every shit you do. So what does he tell to friends? You just don't know because you have no contact to them/there gf don't tell them.
He is nearly 30 and behaves like a teenager who needs to brag around to his friends. And this is your workplace. Do you want that everybody knows what you do with him? You sleep with him and everybody in his surroundings and your workplace knows every detail. Which underwear you wore, if you came, the position, how your body looks…. And hey, maybe he makes photos or videos, it is easier for his publikum. He will show around every sexy message, or nude pic. Privacy? Can you eat this.
I also don't want to tell you what to do, but: You work in a Taco place. This isn't such a big place to get out of the way of each other. So before dating someone, think about what happens if the thing go south. You have an awful work situation. There are so many nice men outside of your workplace, you don't need to date where you work.
I would have your husband text her saying he is married and he didn’t appreciate the way she acted during dinner and to not contact him. I would also set nude boundaries with your family and MIL keeping her at a distance.
Chinese people often seem to have a thing about skin color.
Whitening skin is a subject there.
She sounds venomously envious and gatekeeping at the same time.
And boy… she sure IS racistic herself.
Now… it seems to be a situation where you have to chose with what level of bs you are willing to put up in a relationship.
Having to discuss the cast of a film you just happened to watch (NOT make, NOT cast, mind you?!) under such irrational arguments just to verbally have the door slammed into your face just sounds like it is very exhausting to be around that hedgehog lady.
She assumes that people think the exact same thing about her that SHE is thinking about others.
A “mirror mirror” situation.
As the problem isn't YOU but HER… she will likely explode right in your face if you confront her.
I’m curious why you would do that that’s sort of sabotaging and dishonest. I’d be more concerned about a guy who tried to do that and then I would be anything else. I’m clean and sober and if I had a glass of soda water with lime and some one would try to put Gin in it or something I would never date them again.
I just feel guilty and think I should accept the blame. I think it’s kind of my fault for going somewhere knowing there’s a chance of getting sick. But I’ve been to enough raves knowing how to take care of myself. The next day after the rave, I went home to visit my family even though I already told them I shouldn’t because I didn’t want them to get sick, but they thought I should be fine and still insisted me to go home. I didn’t get sick until a few days later, so I got unlucky this time.
He followed up with “It was your control to go or not and you knew there was a chance of getting sick. Not like it was peer pressure. Guess you didn’t really care” and “Fine with going home sick to your parents, not seeing ur friends, then me. Was worth the risk right?”
He has no idea how bad I feel, I tried apologizing and telling him how badly I want to see him. We seen each other in weeks and we’re supposed to see each other this weekend, but that depends if I’m feeling better or not. He’s kind of upset how we have to be cautious about us hanging out now.
Mods need to start removing the horny old men using this sub for creative writing. Either that or strike a deal with Netflix because on the off chance this is real I’d love to see the fallout of someone whoring around like that
If he wants to break up now he will certainly want to break up with the stress of a newborn. I think you have to accept that the relationship is over regardless of what you do. He sounds like he would be a pretty shit partner anyways. Of course you would get emotional discussing an abortion and breaking up. You are only human.
I think you should really look into how much of an emotional toll having a child is.. also, how much stress and work it is as a single parent. I don't think you realize how all encompassing having a child is. You may have a good job but child care isn't cheap and you will need to take time off work to have the baby. Who do you have who will help support you? You can't do it all in your own. Your child will take over your life for the next 18+ years. You really need to be ready to sacrifice.
that sounds nice but she cant kick him out like that legally . it’s his house too in the end
Yeah that makes sense but I wouldn’t entirely that there wasn’t anything else beside just nudity. He did start lightly sexting me in the room with his brother but if you are right and he is just comfortable with him than it isn’t weird and I need to get my head out of the gutter.
You trying to turn this into a child protection services situation. I pray you can’t come within 100 ft from ANY CHILD and God bless if you have any!!
Yeah keep staying in a relationship with her, she will do wonders on your mental. ?
Same
I know that’s why I was scared to whole time and I didn’t know what to do. But now I’m sure that I have to tell the truth. Yeah maybe a third party wouldn’t be that bad.
Block, ghost, ignore. If he continues then call the police.
Your life man…
Yeah, you definitely dodged a bullet. There's no reason for her to contact you months later just to brag. You're better off without someone that childish.
Why would you spend £150 on a co worker? No wonder your woman was pissed. You’ve went and bought another woman a pricey gift so it does look suspicious. You ended it, so na not cheating.
Your son didn't inherit his blood type from your mother. You inherited yours from her and your dad, as your husband inherited his from his parents. Your son got a mixture of your genetics and your husbands, and this resulted in his blood type. You and your husband both carry the gene for type O, which is recessive and therefore not expressed in either of you. Your son happened to inherit both O genes. So you, your mother, and your son all have the same O gene, but your son needed to also inherit an O gene from your husband in order to express the O type. If you have more children, there is a 75% chance the next one will be A, and a 25% chance they will be O.
What’s HE doing to shake things up? Why does the responsibility of making things more exciting for him fall on your shoulders? You’re not his court jester, retained to keep him entertained. You’re his partner, and relationships inevitably have stretches of routines especially when both partners are very busy and stressed.
I’d suggest sitting him down and each making a list of cheap/free date night ideas so you guys have new experiences to look forward to. Suggest that you alternate, so one week it’s your idea, the next week is his. The burden is on both of you to put in the effort you want to see.
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Break up with him. It’s situations like this, I feel like your partner is either trying to gaslight you or he truly doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions because this is definitely not your fault. It’s clear your partner is the one with the problem and insecurities. The fact that’s he’s trying to convince you that this is your fault makes me think he’s trying to gaslight you.
You're welcome, good luck!
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I feel sorry for this younger generation. Even my own kids. It's going to get to the point you're going to have to have a lawyer write up a consensual contract to make a move. Won't that be spontaneous and romantic. Here let's sign the legally binding contract to have our first kiss.
he said sorry and that he regrets it so much, i just don’t know why i should feel sorry and guilty cuz his didn’t work out, i still care for him a lot
I'm so sorry OP. Call the companies and password protect your accounts, get a PO box, and dump this guy.
I would celebrate the trash taking itself out and block him back.
Breakups suck but it’s better to know now than a month before your wedding. Where are your friends? Hit them up and go out on the town. What are your hobbies? Chug a coffee and ice skate, play basketball, or crochet, whatever it is you love. Join meetup and meet new friends. Watch the saddest movie you know and cry. Then watch the most funny one and laugh. You will get through this I promise. Breathe. Just take it a day at a time.
I saw red flags when I read that you’re seeing a guy but not in a relationship at his insistence because he wants to make sure you’re both compatible, yet he doesn’t want you to see or date anyone else. Yeah, that’s doublespeak for you sit at home while he has sex with other women.
Does it annoy your boyfriend, too? If not, you have a boyfriend problem. Check out the sub r/JUSTNOMIL. It will open your eyes and maybe give you some tools to work with.
But why is he sleeping with someone he doesn't trust? That's such a silly idea on his part. Getting laid is not worth all the risks he'll be putting on himself by sleeping with someone he can't trust. Men, please keep it in your pants if you don't actually trust the person you're sleeping with, ladies too. Please be safe, use protection, make informed decisions and only sleep with people whom you trust and feel safe with.
So you are well on your way now to emotionally cheating on your bf and you expect us to pull your butt out of the fire?
How about doing the most obvious thing in the world AND NOT TALK TO YOUR ABUSIVE EX BOYFRIEND!!!!.
This did not occur to you?
Seriously??
So he thinks your perfectly normal response of calling the police in that situation is a betrayal and psychotic, but can’t see that if he actually shot a blank into the ceiling to get a reaction out of you it would be abusive and psychotic?
Yeah, this guy ain’t stable.
He’s a fuck buddy so of course he’s going to push limits and explore his fantasy. That is the sole purpose of your whole relationship. If you don’t like it find a new one. You’re not in a committed relationship so you both can move on to other preferences and see other people too.
Because she's gaslighting him, by defintion. It's fucked up.
She said “let's agree to do things this way,” did them a different way, and is insisting that her husband is wrong and she's actually doing what they agreed. It's clearly causing mental distress to her partner, because she's full-on denying his reality. That's a big deal, and it would seriously bother most people.
I don’t think you have much choice- if she wants a break , you can’t force her to still see you- if you do that, the break would become permanent
Maybe she’s still digesting your three page “note” after only being together for 4 months… I’d find that incredibly overwhelming!
Or perhaps she just hasn’t read it!
If you “figure it out after the fact”… you’ll be parents. So zero BC is definitely NOT an option. You must do what is best for you, your physical, mental and emotional well being!
How he can equate a condom with hormonal birth control is ludicrous. He’s being immature. He may also not be worth your investment.
It’s already derailed
You can’t “fix” people
That’s not completely true. It can be religious but a lot of the topics that are covered are not like Hebrew language and Jewish history.
See it like this: Who else did he tell about this? This is a guy he barely know and he brag about every shit you do. So what does he tell to friends? You just don't know because you have no contact to them/there gf don't tell them.
He is nearly 30 and behaves like a teenager who needs to brag around to his friends. And this is your workplace. Do you want that everybody knows what you do with him? You sleep with him and everybody in his surroundings and your workplace knows every detail. Which underwear you wore, if you came, the position, how your body looks…. And hey, maybe he makes photos or videos, it is easier for his publikum. He will show around every sexy message, or nude pic. Privacy? Can you eat this.
I also don't want to tell you what to do, but: You work in a Taco place. This isn't such a big place to get out of the way of each other. So before dating someone, think about what happens if the thing go south. You have an awful work situation. There are so many nice men outside of your workplace, you don't need to date where you work.
Option 1
I would have your husband text her saying he is married and he didn’t appreciate the way she acted during dinner and to not contact him. I would also set nude boundaries with your family and MIL keeping her at a distance.
Get another test. False positives do happen. Other than that I would want to physically see his test results. I wouldn't take his word for it.
You don't currently love this girl.
What murders?
Chinese people often seem to have a thing about skin color.
Whitening skin is a subject there.
She sounds venomously envious and gatekeeping at the same time.
And boy… she sure IS racistic herself.
Now… it seems to be a situation where you have to chose with what level of bs you are willing to put up in a relationship.
Having to discuss the cast of a film you just happened to watch (NOT make, NOT cast, mind you?!) under such irrational arguments just to verbally have the door slammed into your face just sounds like it is very exhausting to be around that hedgehog lady.
She assumes that people think the exact same thing about her that SHE is thinking about others.
A “mirror mirror” situation.
As the problem isn't YOU but HER… she will likely explode right in your face if you confront her.
“I can complain about my abusive boyfriend on the internet but I won’t leave him because I like attention.”
I’m curious why you would do that that’s sort of sabotaging and dishonest. I’d be more concerned about a guy who tried to do that and then I would be anything else. I’m clean and sober and if I had a glass of soda water with lime and some one would try to put Gin in it or something I would never date them again.
Actually what's worse is toying with people's emotions and thinking it's funny.
That's what you should be breaking up for.
I just feel guilty and think I should accept the blame. I think it’s kind of my fault for going somewhere knowing there’s a chance of getting sick. But I’ve been to enough raves knowing how to take care of myself. The next day after the rave, I went home to visit my family even though I already told them I shouldn’t because I didn’t want them to get sick, but they thought I should be fine and still insisted me to go home. I didn’t get sick until a few days later, so I got unlucky this time.
He followed up with “It was your control to go or not and you knew there was a chance of getting sick. Not like it was peer pressure. Guess you didn’t really care” and “Fine with going home sick to your parents, not seeing ur friends, then me. Was worth the risk right?”
He has no idea how bad I feel, I tried apologizing and telling him how badly I want to see him. We seen each other in weeks and we’re supposed to see each other this weekend, but that depends if I’m feeling better or not. He’s kind of upset how we have to be cautious about us hanging out now.
Does not sound like someome who is mature enough to he taking on a human life tbh.
You guys shouldn't even have a DOG let alone a baby.
Mods need to start removing the horny old men using this sub for creative writing. Either that or strike a deal with Netflix because on the off chance this is real I’d love to see the fallout of someone whoring around like that
If he wants to break up now he will certainly want to break up with the stress of a newborn. I think you have to accept that the relationship is over regardless of what you do. He sounds like he would be a pretty shit partner anyways. Of course you would get emotional discussing an abortion and breaking up. You are only human.
I think you should really look into how much of an emotional toll having a child is.. also, how much stress and work it is as a single parent. I don't think you realize how all encompassing having a child is. You may have a good job but child care isn't cheap and you will need to take time off work to have the baby. Who do you have who will help support you? You can't do it all in your own. Your child will take over your life for the next 18+ years. You really need to be ready to sacrifice.
As a side, an abortion isn't killing a baby.
Have you seen how this mentalist keeps saying ” screenshot ” ?
Divorce.
Why not? What, in your mind, could happen if she went hiking with pseudo strangers?
Sounds to me like an early relationship which has run its course. Seems like too much bad blood to continue.