I agree with your friend. Do not talk to her again. I can almost promise the exit interview will not satisfy, only make u feel like a dum dum afterward.
Delete without opening and block the account. Also talk to your parents about what happened. So if the person tries again under another account your father can go after them
There are scammers out there doing this to guys Then demand money from the guys .
You’re being destructive to your relationship (possibly with financial abuse) and calling it frugality. You already said in other comments that it’s your preference to see the States and not about the money. Get your story straight. All I see is you don’t value your wife and it’s killing get self esteem and feelings of self worth.
She's probably not worth staying with. In a healthy relationship, you don't cheat on your partner and you don't stay friends with the guy you cheated with. Their are better women out their my guy. I've had friends go through the same and it all ends the same way. She's attached to this guy and she's probably never gonna fully leave him, even for you. That's just life. If she really respected you she wouldn't be hanging around him like that. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that one day you will find a woman who will love and cherish you.
Yea I mean it's weird. It's up to you do decide how important this is yo you.
To be fair, there's a difference between giving a witness statement and preventing danger. If you were actively being attacked and she wouldn't contact the police to save your life… fuck her. She's your wife she should care about you.
It is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed and scared right now. You have been through a lot and are facing a difficult situation. It sounds like you and your wife have had a lot of challenges in your marriage, and that you have both had to deal with a lot of stress from your jobs and other life events.
The most important thing right now is for you to take care of yourself. This means making sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that help you relax. It is also important to talk to someone about what you are going through. You may want to consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your situation and how you are feeling.
In terms of your relationship, it is important to be honest with your wife about how you are feeling and what you need from the relationship to feel secure and supported. You also need to make sure that you are both taking responsibility for your roles in the relationship and that you are both making an effort to work on the issues. This could include talking to a couples therapist or engaging in couples counseling.
Finally, it is important to remember that you are not alone in this. It is likely that you have friends and family who can offer you support during this difficult time.
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Loyalty is earned, she didn't earn it, that's it. People aren't upset for the reasons they told you, they're upset because now the situation is awkward and inconvenient for them. You “rocked the boat” and they don't like that
You might start investigating as this will surely start poisoning your relationship, like it or not. It is the 1st time they are meeting up or the 1st time you found out about it?
Are you the type to nip out the possibility of something happening or wait to see if there is any cheating going on?
This isn't a relationship, you do not need advice on how to “improve” anything in it.
You need to seek counseling for your obviously low self esteem and to learn to be how to be happy ALONE. Then find an actual relationship, that has a healthy base.
You have decided that you need this person to reciprocate your feelings, and it's not going to happen. You are a booty call to him, that's why he says not to wait around. If he messages you to hang out, tell you you're not available and move on.
Hey brother, definitely should tell and give her a heads up at some point. If she's a half decent and genuine person, she won't be turned off by this and will very much coach you through it all!
Just make sure to explain that you have dated in the past just never just went to that point for whatever reason.
If she's the type to be turned off by this fact and dismisses you, well then it just means she took the trash out herself imo.
Who would have thought that you wouldn’t be comfortable with letting another man rail your girlfriend. The amount of posts you see on Reddit that are like this is outstanding.
Maybe next time ask her if she can request the day off for a surprise. It gives her a little more control of what she is doing. If my SO tweaked my routine without my knowledge I’d lose my shit.
Establish boundaries then because it seems like he’s controlling. You don’t have to be exclusive if he doesn’t, he doesn’t get to pout and ignore you when you’re not “obeying,” etc.
you said you are the breadwinner here. You are financially able to take care of a baby. You were worried you would have difficulty conceiving.
As someone that is currently pregnant and very happy about it because i was also having difficulty conceiving as my husband and i tried for a long time before and also shockingly we found out i was pregnant. My pregnancy has been painful and difficult but i could never imagine aborting my daughter. Especially with the concern of maybe not being able to have another after her. Especially being 29 and the older i get the more difficult my dr told me it would get.
I am pro choice and believe every woman should make that choice for themselves. But here.. the choice is being forced on you. You want kids, u love kids.
You are with a man tht
Didn't want to marry you because his mommy told him not to after being with u for 3 fucking years. Seems to be keeping you on a little string of waiting for commitment he honestly probably won't give you. Lets his mother meddle in your relationship. Told u the choice is yours and he will support u until the choice u made isn't the one he wanted and is now leveraging a relationship with him over your head over your unborn child. He sounds like a real keeper.
Yes pregnancy is difficult as a single mom. I wouldn't know personally having my husband but have alot of single moms in my family and My mom raised me alone after leaving my AH dad who also didn't want her to keep me btw.. but i was blessed to have a mother that loved the hell out of me and taught me how to be strong as a woman and to love myself above all else.
If you choose to not have the baby that should be entirely your choice. Not because you are being emotionally blackmailed by your bf who doesn't even want to commit to you. And any dude that can just not be responsible enough to:
If he didn't want the responsibility of having a damn child have been using protection to ensure that it didnt happen at all and then just walk away from set child is a coward to me. It's not that difficult to put on a condom! Or use more thn one form of birth control the chance of this happening was always there he isn't a child! He's a grown ass man…. who still hides behinds his moms skirt but sure…
Will you be able to look at him the same if you choose him and can't have kids in the future?
If you guys were to break up tomorrow and u terminated the pregnancy for his sake.. and meet the man of your dreams would u be okay with there being a chance u wouldnt be able to hve a child in that relationship?
Even if u stay together would u be able to look at him with love knowing her leveraged a life for a life basically?
If you had posted that you weren't ready i would've been ever supportive in that. But jesus… don't let a man make a decision regarding YOUR OWN BODY for you! Or guilt u into it..
I'm sorry if my words are a bit rough or pessimistic but i had a friend who's bf did the same thing.. and she terminated the pregnancy for him. To find out year later he cheated on her and got another girl pregnant and decided to keep the child. She ended up having a complication and she couldn't have kids again. Dude couldn't even be bothered to support her after It was nearly impossible.
This is a possibility that could happen. Consider every facet of this please. And a man that loves you wouldnt be stringing u along this way in any case..
OP, do the adult thing and ask her why she lied after you confront her in a way that isn’t accusatory. Like, hey I happened to notice your DL and couldn’t help but see that you’re a year younger than you told me. I’d like to know why you lied to me”
Then based off her answer, you can judge for yourself on how to proceed.
I agree, and the wife may be having trouble putting it into words but there is something that got her going. I don’t believe she is projecting or anything like that.
Yeah, I guess I feel like shit because while I've said I never liked it, I still have put up with it so that's my fault. Maybe it's because I'm the type to fawn or freeze when we argue, so I have never set a boundary and immediately fold under any confrontation. I guess it's very hard for him to control his words, and I can be annoying sometimes.
Calling a woman or male “beautiful or handsome” while in a relationship is one thing. Many parts of Southern U.S. will call everybody, sweetheart. But to me, the emojis top the cake and definitely cross boundaries.
I can understand how you feel, you don't necessarily not trust him completely, you just feel unsettled due to a few factors. Both him doing something with other people that you have mentioned doing together on multiple occasions and then that a girl will be there as well.
Communication is always so key within a relationship. It may be best just to sit down and calmly have a conversation with him to express how you feel. This is something normal that you are going through but it is potentially you just need some reassurance from him, more than anything.
this is my first time posting…
I agree with your friend. Do not talk to her again. I can almost promise the exit interview will not satisfy, only make u feel like a dum dum afterward.
Nothing's wrong with that, don't worry
So your bf doesn’t hang out with you any more and wants to keep you a dirty little secret?
Doesn’t sound like you have a bf.
That is a subjective matter. Only she and her friends know her true intentions. Since you can't mind read, you either go with the flow or ask her.
Due to my parents and their incomes, I am not eligible for any loans
Block Delete Ignore
Delete without opening and block the account. Also talk to your parents about what happened. So if the person tries again under another account your father can go after them
There are scammers out there doing this to guys Then demand money from the guys .
Do not fall for it.
You’re being destructive to your relationship (possibly with financial abuse) and calling it frugality. You already said in other comments that it’s your preference to see the States and not about the money. Get your story straight. All I see is you don’t value your wife and it’s killing get self esteem and feelings of self worth.
She's probably not worth staying with. In a healthy relationship, you don't cheat on your partner and you don't stay friends with the guy you cheated with. Their are better women out their my guy. I've had friends go through the same and it all ends the same way. She's attached to this guy and she's probably never gonna fully leave him, even for you. That's just life. If she really respected you she wouldn't be hanging around him like that. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that one day you will find a woman who will love and cherish you.
Yea I mean it's weird. It's up to you do decide how important this is yo you.
To be fair, there's a difference between giving a witness statement and preventing danger. If you were actively being attacked and she wouldn't contact the police to save your life… fuck her. She's your wife she should care about you.
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It is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed and scared right now. You have been through a lot and are facing a difficult situation. It sounds like you and your wife have had a lot of challenges in your marriage, and that you have both had to deal with a lot of stress from your jobs and other life events.
The most important thing right now is for you to take care of yourself. This means making sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that help you relax. It is also important to talk to someone about what you are going through. You may want to consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your situation and how you are feeling.
In terms of your relationship, it is important to be honest with your wife about how you are feeling and what you need from the relationship to feel secure and supported. You also need to make sure that you are both taking responsibility for your roles in the relationship and that you are both making an effort to work on the issues. This could include talking to a couples therapist or engaging in couples counseling.
Finally, it is important to remember that you are not alone in this. It is likely that you have friends and family who can offer you support during this difficult time.
Hello /u/1Successful_Problem,
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When someone farts in my home, we blame it on the cat.
Loyalty is earned, she didn't earn it, that's it. People aren't upset for the reasons they told you, they're upset because now the situation is awkward and inconvenient for them. You “rocked the boat” and they don't like that
You might start investigating as this will surely start poisoning your relationship, like it or not. It is the 1st time they are meeting up or the 1st time you found out about it?
Are you the type to nip out the possibility of something happening or wait to see if there is any cheating going on?
Very well said, thank you
This isn't a relationship, you do not need advice on how to “improve” anything in it.
You need to seek counseling for your obviously low self esteem and to learn to be how to be happy ALONE. Then find an actual relationship, that has a healthy base.
You have decided that you need this person to reciprocate your feelings, and it's not going to happen. You are a booty call to him, that's why he says not to wait around. If he messages you to hang out, tell you you're not available and move on.
Hey brother, definitely should tell and give her a heads up at some point. If she's a half decent and genuine person, she won't be turned off by this and will very much coach you through it all!
Just make sure to explain that you have dated in the past just never just went to that point for whatever reason.
If she's the type to be turned off by this fact and dismisses you, well then it just means she took the trash out herself imo.
Who would have thought that you wouldn’t be comfortable with letting another man rail your girlfriend. The amount of posts you see on Reddit that are like this is outstanding.
Maybe next time ask her if she can request the day off for a surprise. It gives her a little more control of what she is doing. If my SO tweaked my routine without my knowledge I’d lose my shit.
Maybe you're a good match, but you want different things in life.
Hate to break the news but it sounds like this aint gonna work on the long run.
Run. It's a nightmare to be with someone with an incompatible libido.
Jesus Christ women are conditioned to endure so much.
You said in another comment that you said ‘yeah i think you arw cheating on me’.
Not always, but mostly.
I have absolutely no idea about what your notion of consent is. Consent needs to be absolute and unequivocal. What are your intentions here
you are jealous of someone with a terminal illness
Two things it seems you're forgetting about: alimony and child support. Good luck getting away clean, unless you're just planning to be a dirtbag
Establish boundaries then because it seems like he’s controlling. You don’t have to be exclusive if he doesn’t, he doesn’t get to pout and ignore you when you’re not “obeying,” etc.
If it's possible, you may want to try and change schedules. I know this sucks and I'm sorry
Like what if my sister wanted to do something with him instead of pulling away? Would he have cheated on me with my own sister?
Yes. He would have.
Is that someone you want to marry?
You’re cheating on your wife.
Girl..
you said you are the breadwinner here. You are financially able to take care of a baby. You were worried you would have difficulty conceiving.
As someone that is currently pregnant and very happy about it because i was also having difficulty conceiving as my husband and i tried for a long time before and also shockingly we found out i was pregnant. My pregnancy has been painful and difficult but i could never imagine aborting my daughter. Especially with the concern of maybe not being able to have another after her. Especially being 29 and the older i get the more difficult my dr told me it would get.
I am pro choice and believe every woman should make that choice for themselves. But here.. the choice is being forced on you. You want kids, u love kids.
You are with a man tht
Didn't want to marry you because his mommy told him not to after being with u for 3 fucking years. Seems to be keeping you on a little string of waiting for commitment he honestly probably won't give you. Lets his mother meddle in your relationship. Told u the choice is yours and he will support u until the choice u made isn't the one he wanted and is now leveraging a relationship with him over your head over your unborn child. He sounds like a real keeper.
Yes pregnancy is difficult as a single mom. I wouldn't know personally having my husband but have alot of single moms in my family and My mom raised me alone after leaving my AH dad who also didn't want her to keep me btw.. but i was blessed to have a mother that loved the hell out of me and taught me how to be strong as a woman and to love myself above all else.
If you choose to not have the baby that should be entirely your choice. Not because you are being emotionally blackmailed by your bf who doesn't even want to commit to you. And any dude that can just not be responsible enough to:
If he didn't want the responsibility of having a damn child have been using protection to ensure that it didnt happen at all and then just walk away from set child is a coward to me. It's not that difficult to put on a condom! Or use more thn one form of birth control the chance of this happening was always there he isn't a child! He's a grown ass man…. who still hides behinds his moms skirt but sure…
Will you be able to look at him the same if you choose him and can't have kids in the future?
If you guys were to break up tomorrow and u terminated the pregnancy for his sake.. and meet the man of your dreams would u be okay with there being a chance u wouldnt be able to hve a child in that relationship?
Even if u stay together would u be able to look at him with love knowing her leveraged a life for a life basically?
If you had posted that you weren't ready i would've been ever supportive in that. But jesus… don't let a man make a decision regarding YOUR OWN BODY for you! Or guilt u into it..
I'm sorry if my words are a bit rough or pessimistic but i had a friend who's bf did the same thing.. and she terminated the pregnancy for him. To find out year later he cheated on her and got another girl pregnant and decided to keep the child. She ended up having a complication and she couldn't have kids again. Dude couldn't even be bothered to support her after It was nearly impossible.
This is a possibility that could happen. Consider every facet of this please. And a man that loves you wouldnt be stringing u along this way in any case..
Wish you luck! ?
I mean, you said you are a sex addict so see a therapist for that. Also, you married her knowing how she was, so it's your fault
This is like a middle schooler way to break up.
Who even says that in actual relationship?
OP, do the adult thing and ask her why she lied after you confront her in a way that isn’t accusatory. Like, hey I happened to notice your DL and couldn’t help but see that you’re a year younger than you told me. I’d like to know why you lied to me”
Then based off her answer, you can judge for yourself on how to proceed.
It's time to bring the courts into it.
I agree, and the wife may be having trouble putting it into words but there is something that got her going. I don’t believe she is projecting or anything like that.
Yeah, I guess I feel like shit because while I've said I never liked it, I still have put up with it so that's my fault. Maybe it's because I'm the type to fawn or freeze when we argue, so I have never set a boundary and immediately fold under any confrontation. I guess it's very hard for him to control his words, and I can be annoying sometimes.
Wow it was so normal in the first half.
She's cheating… does she need to put an ad in the paper? She's also violating numerous ethics codes if she's the supervisor.
Once a cheater. Always a cheater
Dude, she's cheating and you know it.
She's barely even trying to hide it.
Calling a woman or male “beautiful or handsome” while in a relationship is one thing. Many parts of Southern U.S. will call everybody, sweetheart. But to me, the emojis top the cake and definitely cross boundaries.
I can understand how you feel, you don't necessarily not trust him completely, you just feel unsettled due to a few factors. Both him doing something with other people that you have mentioned doing together on multiple occasions and then that a girl will be there as well.
Communication is always so key within a relationship. It may be best just to sit down and calmly have a conversation with him to express how you feel. This is something normal that you are going through but it is potentially you just need some reassurance from him, more than anything.