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1. STOP STOP STOP You and your sister should have made peace before this baby was born! Both of you need to give a little and listen to each other!

   Does what she’s saying have an ounce of truth to it? I’ve been there and had to admit that I was a bit condescending to my younger sister. Not in a nasty way but from her perspective she didn’t like it – and I didn’t see it!

   This is your niece and you need to be in her life and she will need you in hers! It’s a special relationship and letting that drift by is heartbreaking to me.

   Take it from me… in 20-30 years time the relationship you will have with your sister and niece will be a million times more important than whatever is going on now!

   Don’t let this go. Swallow your pride, suspend the anger and talk to her. Listen to her. Admit fault and fix it!

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2. As someone who is older…I get it. Her clock is sticking its final countdown. While you were busy raising your son she didn't have time to think about it. Now she is seeing that grandbabys are happening and her ovaries are crying their last hoorah.

   I had a terrible time getting pregnant and was an older parent for that reason. I will be 60 when my youngest son graduates college. I would not trade a single day with either of my children they are my life and heart. We were and are very involved in school and sports and their life in general. I will always be involved until I move on to the next life.

   I had a time after my last son that I would see babies and think man…I miss that smell..those baby giggles…that little boy smile…those arms holding me tight and telling me love u mommy…. I had those feelings for years before I realized I missed the memories and the thought of it and not necessarily going thru it again. If it happened I would have been overjoyed but it didn't need to happen for me to be happy. Now I am simply planning on being the coolest nonna on the planet.

   My husband and I hope to start a travel list of placed we would like to go and hopefully plan a family vacation each year if possible and get to play with the grandbabies when they happen.

   Be gentle and give your wife some grace. What she is experiencing is very hot on your heart and mind.

   However, it is not ok that she is withholding sex or anything else. Sit down and have a calm conversation. Let her know how much you love her and how much how she is handling this hurts you. Explain that withholding affection is hurtful to your mental wellbeing. That you are and always have been a team. That you love her and your son and wouldn't trade these years for anything in the world. But you are looking forward to being with her and getting to do things you didn't or couldn't do before. You want to build couple memories as well as memories with your son and his family.

   You two sound like a strong couple who have fought together to get where you are so don't give up now.

   Couples therapy is always a good idea to have someone with no skin in the game to be able to help you all navigate your feelings as they are changing because life is changing. You two are entering a new phase. Good luck and best wishes

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