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I would recommend against lying or exaggerating. Not a great way to build / maintain trust in a relationship that you're building. Share it as it feels natural to share it, probably easiest to share it within the context of a conversation – whether that be about past relationships, or if something comes up where it feels relevant.
This is a fundamental incompatibility. Save yourself the future heartache of detangling your lives after marriage, kids (if you're planning to have them) and finances, and end your engagement now. So very sorry you've found yourself in this situation.
Money comes and goes. Bring unhappily married from the jump does not.
I called off my wedding the week of and it couldn’t have been a better decision.
I dunno, feeling like the whole thing seems very suspicious.
Was thinking about this too. Icky people all around :/
Sounds like you’re jealous and want to break them up
Uh yeah that’s what happens in an open marriage. What did you expect?
If i were you I wouldn't go, seems too complicated. But take it with a grain of salt as I'm someone who doesn't care about Christmas.
My logic is that there's too much that could go wrong, I'm all for getting out of your comfort zone and overcoming fears, but baby steps would probably have better results than just throwing yourself into this. Idk just my opinion
You are totally free to, as you said.
That being said in a tiny town called dandridge Tennessee back in the 90's my aunt did the same thing. She didn't come back. We don't know what happened.
I'm from Humboldt county California. Look into Humboldt sex trafficking rings. Or the documentary murder mountain (I'm one of the rescue workers dragging the river for dead bodies). All I'm saying is 94 thousand girls a year is 94 thousand reasons to not travel alone long distances as a female. Life is cruel, a parent is trying to protect you. I'm 30, and a father. I see your side and theirs.
The world is a scary place and they are trying to protect you. Getting kidnapped and thrown in a van mid gas station stop like my mom back in 1970, God knows what to my aunt in 1990. Or followed and rammed off a road then have 5 guys try to drag you out until a cop showed up like my niece in 2017.
Everyone says find a therapist but it's not as easy as you think from what i've experienced in the past. I used to be very insecure about my body like you to the point where I'd seriously consider about going under knife but after meeting my current bf, who always tells me how beautiful I am and all that, my self-esteem issue has gotten a lot better. So what I suggest you is, you open up ahout your emotions you're feeling now with your bf. I think your bf should take accountability in this partly bec he's involved in this. He should reassure you that you're pretty just the way you are. (And you really are. Porn stars are doing that for their livings. They must look good on camera. They are the people who'd do anything for looks. Also photoshopped)
it’s hurting me horribly knowing that i will never be good enough for him
Babe, whoever this guy is – he is not worth it. you are more than enough. work on loving yourself – you will then have someone loving you with all his heart as well.
Go to their house, and every time she shows her ass go outside
For his future relationships, you might want to tell him, but I don't think you owe it to him.
Does he really not know how his mother acts?
I’m surprised by how harsh and mean some of these comments are. Yes, you did this to yourself by never coming forward with your feelings. But I’m sorry you are so heart broken. It sounds like distancing yourself will be the best in the long run, although it will hurt more at first. I would apologize for what you said to him though, because it sounds like you are feeling guilty and because he didn’t deserve that. It also sounds like you’re really idealizing this guy, and he sounds like a great guy, but there are a lot of fish in the sea. He deserves to be happy in his relationship, and you deserve to find someone that wants to be with you.
Back up the evidence and store in a safe location .
ID the OM. If married, plan on exposing him to his wife.
They are both crossing boundaries by the sound of it, because his replies to others on here show how immature he is
But to say he “shut it down” sounds like he’s expects her to do as he says, when life doesn’t work that way, wouldn’t we all love for things to go our way all the time, but unfortunately there has to be a mutual understanding and respect
?????????????????
Beatrice likes hurting animals, makes her crazy horny. It would be kink-shaming to say “Beatrice you're a weirdo because you get turned on by hurting animals”
Yes, and that kink-shaming would be correct to do. Some things are shameful. Beatrice should never feel like those types of feelings are normal or not worthy of shame.
You have someone every single day of your life op. Yourself. I lived like that for years myself op. It does get better or at least different. I bought a dog as a companion for my loneliness. He forces me to socialize because people always approach him and compliment him to me. He also gave me motivation to get up and walk 2-3 times everyday and lose weight.
Indeed.com may be your solution, or at least a viable place to look for work. I got fired three years ago and spent an hour or two making a profile and applying for jobs.
I got one less then a week after getting fired as a home health aid. Instead of 6/7 work days designed as part time, I now only work three days a week full time hours and make enough to manage my mortgage, bills and put food in the table.
Department of human resources also maintains accurate and updated jobs that are actively hiring at any given day, so check them out as well. They can also help if you're struggling with medical care, housing or food security too.
“Break the COAX”, they say, “Break the COAX! Rip It! Rip It!”.
Eh….gotta ask….
Are you two Teenagers?….cuz this post has a really strong scent of
florid immature back-and-forth.
Ok… so you have sexual trauma from childhood, she also has sexual trauma from childhood. You checked out for 5 months and are surprised things are different when you come back? She probably did have sexual relations while you were gone and it sounds like you both have just been going through the motions for a long time now. Neither of you sounds ready for a relationship. Please focus on self love and care right now.
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There's no point in arguing with your bf on this or showing him statistics to prove him wrong since he already had it in his mind this belief of his.
The ratio of women in certain industries are indeed lower than men but it is mostly due to the fact that women do not get the same opportunity. There are still glass ceilings present as we speak where women are just unfairly passed over for higher roles in place of their male colleagues. Sure, we can argue that person A is more suitable for this role than person B, and it has nothing to do with gender. But does it mean person A is smarter? No, it just means person A is more suitable, that's all.
To outright say that men in general are smarter than women is extremely condescending and rude. While STEM is a male-dominated profession, it doesn't mean that one gender is smarter over the other, it just means what it is, that it is a male-dominated profession, that's all.
I mean…all valid fears to have. I get that new attractions can throw you for a loop. But you don’t have to explore publicly. There’s nothing that says you have to tell anyone anything until (and if) you want to.
“If you feel like you are currently doing too much for our kids then I think we might need to put our engagement on hold.” Or just straight up take a vacation and let him shoulder the full weight of what you do to serve as a wake up call. I personally couldn’t remain with a selfish person, so imo there is nothing YOU can do to save this. HE needs to step up or you shouldn’t shoulder his dead weight. You CANNOT change anybody except yourself, HE has to want to change for him to do so.
The heart wants what it wants or else it does not care
All's fair in love and war
Go for it. And I say this as someone who has defied the odds against getting taken back.
Really..go for it!! You won't accept anyone else or you would have moved on.
I hope you succeed
Absofuckinlutely
You can leave the butt hair. Personally I shave it around the anus because it keeps means less whipping after a visit to the toilet
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Clearly, you are finding out you can’t put genie back in bottle.
He probably (correctly?) assumed it was time to move on after you weren’t happy.
Reaped what you sowed here.
But he went and got it right after she asked why he hadn't gotten it…He didn't say “cause I didn't have the money.” He is only spending 300 in rent and she literally pays for EVERYTHING else.
Yes you made the right decision. Don't take him back, he's just trying to keep manipulating you.
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Even if it’s “normal” in some families, are you ok with it? Your are absolutely allowed to not be okay with it even if others consider it normal.
You absolutely need to break up with him. It didn’t fair to him that you waste his time and potential prevent him from meeting someone that actually does want to be with him.
It’s selfish for you to continue this. Being on your own can be scary but you’ll just have to put yourself out there and set this boy free.
I guess the grass wasn’t greener. Find someone that values you
This whole thread is insane?
You state “I’m not the most political person” but you’re willing to throw what sounds like a great relationship out the window because of how he votes? What’s even more insane is that how he votes was learned after you saw all of his other amazing traits.
It’s healthy to have people around you that have different view points than yourself. Being able to have constructive conversations with people that are important to you can change how you see the world, or vice versa. As long as bother parties can have that mature, constructive conversation, it can still be a very successful relationship.
Or you could – you know, ask him “hey babe, I'm getting this feeling that we need to talk about the possibility of a baby and how we both feel about it” Instead of throwing hints to see if he says anything. This is not a conversation you can start on hints. It is a serious thing that will change both your lives.
Love, i didn't even finish the first paragraph. He is abusive and it will escalate. He physically assaulted you WHILE YOU WERE HOLDING A TINY BABY!!!! Please. Right now, find resources and make a quiet plan to leave. Praying for you and your LO's safety
Not sure what you expect having conversations like that.
INFO: how long have you been dating?
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Has he completely forgotten what the clitoris is or?
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Your done. You know it. You’ve done more than necessary to be able to face god, yourself, your kids and anyone that matters to you that you have this marriage your best shot. You will be so much happier away from this clown and his circus.
Any other advice than to leave is bad advice. There is nothing good that can come out of this. In fact, I don't think you live! in reality if you call her sweet while she comes up to you with a knife. She can either 'test' you to the point where you give in (which I can tell you already thought about, since you mention you don't wanna go to jail, rather than you not wanting to hurt your wife). This is destined to go very wrong and personally aI wouldn't want to end up in jail or have my wife kill me
We would be 0 for 3 then ?
No alcohol, drugs or open relationship ??
Maybe i should do an AMA ??
Hey, i know i'm gonna get a lot of hate for this comment, but i feel like it may help you OP.
Herpes is not a purely sexual transmitted disease. Actually, there is a good chance you already have it without even knowing it. She may not have gotten it from her ex but had it dormant before that even.
It can be dormant for decades. It can be transmitted even without break outs, but the chance is significantly lower. There is no safe contact that can prevent you from getting it, even just talking to the person infected is already a risk (micro spit when people talk to each other). So basically, every time you speak with someone, they may not know they already have it, and just talking to them less than 1m away is already a risk situation.
Most people already have herpes but don't know it. Either they haven't had a break out yet, but can still be transmitting the virus, OR they don't know that a cold sore is herpes. That that little pimple they get everytime the are too tired is herpes.
I have been told (i didn't ask, i was told unprompted) not to disclose having Herpes by 5 different doctors (3 GPs, 1 dermatologist and 1 psychiatrist).
Herpes doesn't always break out in the same spot. You can be infected on the lips but break out on your genitalia. You can even have a break out near the eyes for no specific reason.
Although herpes is a life long affliction, it is easily treatable, and mainly an aesthetic issue. The only time herpes is problematic is: for the firdt break out, that is painful. Others are not. For pregnant women giving birth, if they never had a break out before If the break out is near an eye, you have to check it a lot, if it is in the eye, you have to treat it immediately at the hospital.
Most people get very little break outs. Some got 1 every decade. If the break outs are too frequent, a medication can be given to stop them completely for a year. After a while, you see patterns in what brings out break outs, so you know when to expect them and treat them right away. A break out treated is gone in 3 days.
All in all, it is a very easy to deal with disease, but it still has a lot of stigma, like the person is dirty somehow.
You don't ask the people you talk to daily if they have a condition that can be transmitted. You'll get more colds than herpes break outs in your life.
I understand that right now you feel slighted. But what would you have your gf do? Never talk to anyone without a mask, and only remove it once she's told the person she has herpes? In that case, everybody should do the same, since the vast majority of people have it without being aware of it.
Her telling you she has herpes while she hasn't had a break out yet is the right call. However, she shouldn't have tried to justify it like “i thought i couldn't trabsmit it right now” and then that if she told you she was afraid you wouldn't want to be with her. That is bs, it's either one or the other. That is blatant lie and i don't stand by it, trying to excuse her actions.
But her actions don't have to be excused, that's the point. She did what doctors in medicine recommend.
Once you understand Herpes really is no big deal, her telling you 2 months in is nothing. Her lying about why she didn't is a big deal though
The snake? Likely a pet shop
As a child of a dysfunctional “stay together for the kids” family, I must say — do not stay together for the kids. It has only ruined our lives and I am still dealing with the consequences of my parents' decisions.
Divorce and rebuild your life while you and your kids are still young. Good luck to you, OP.
I relate to this so much. Growing up around my parents’ constant fighting messed me up and normalized toxic relationships. Kids pick up on that lack of love and internalize it in really unhealthy ways, so I promised myself if I ever get to that point with my husband, to separate instead because my daughter doesn’t deserve to grow up in that kind of environment.
Thank you so much. This was probably the best advice I’ve received from anyone I’ve talked to about this. It’s nice to see things from the males perspective or from the perspective of someone with similarities. He really is a genuine person and he’s very good for me. We’re good for each other we balance each other out very well.
I actually sent him a small message letting him know I appreciate him for the kind of person he is because I’m grateful I have someone like him around me.
I don’t mean to push for a reaction that doesn’t exist at all, genuinely. I think I tend to over think and worry because like you said this is all very new to me. I do need to relax a bit because I don’t want to end up pushing someone so good away because of my problems he doesn’t deserve that at all.
“Is he just going to abandon us?!?” Uh… yeah dude. Yes he is. As soon as he can figure out how, he’s outta there.
That’s all there is to it
Same here. I don't have a degree but am looking to get a promotion soon that would put me near 6 figures. I make twice what my husband makes and he has a degree.
I didn’t mention this but my family home was abusive and I really don’t want to go back
I feel stuck financially and physically
Hey, thanks a lot for commenting but I already texted her asking if I could see her and she replied. She doesn’t want to see me and she gave me reasons as to why she was pissed.
I basically apologized, gave part of my side, told her I didn’t text with the intentions of arguing, then Told her it’s fine if she doesn’t want to talk and that it was up to her.
She typed for a couple minutes, then decided to not send her message and leave me on read.
I’m not blocked though, I guess that’s a positive…
Are there any boundaries I can establish? – like what? Make him sign a legal contract that he'll never break up with you again?
How can I believe him he won't do this again? – You can't, either you trust him or you don't. BTW, he already lied to you so he's not a trustworthy person. Also his excuse for breaking up with you can happen anytime so you can't believe him if he's not at the therapy or someone working on him not being “mentally very low” in order to not happen again.
Should I give him a chance? – you shouldn't but you probably will. You should better grab the chance and move on. What he did, what he said, how he make you feel was really disrespectful of him. Know your self worth!
Hire prostitutes.
That's what they exist for.
I assume this last time he forced sex on you.
The new laws state that what occurred was rape.
There was a time is wasn't for married people
So professional cock sucker here. The “accidental” baby would've been my first guess as I've had plenty of men do this…like I'd want to be stuck to any of them for longer than I have to be.
Second guess, maybe he has some sort of issue (read STD) and when he came there was blood in it. Disgusting ik but I definitely had someone try to tell me I bled on the condom…I had an iud and definitely wasn't/hadn't been on my period or even spotted in years. Idk what kinds std makes you jizz blood but definitely possible.
Oops its actually 57F Mom ?♀️
He doesn’t like spending time with you. Your needs are not invalid. He is making excuses to not meet them.
Don’t get him anything. If you never speak again, great.
Girl, do you have any idea how impressive you are? To be a homeowner making six figures at 27 would be impressive for anyone, but someone who did it as a young parent AND coming from foster care? You need and deserve someone on your level and he’s not even close. End this chapter and move on.
Thanks, I saw her today. I just don't know if I can handle it. Not sure if it's because exams or I'm introverted like most people on this app but I find it hard to express things in person. I think I don't feel comfortable and finding a place where I could say that is nude.
Can you define an adult relationship? Because like I'm fine if I get texted like once or twice an hour but like- 5-24 hours without saying like 'I'm a bit busy rn/today I'll text u when I can' is so easy to do.
What constitutes as mature?
Life is short, take the chance! Just reach out and see how her new classes are going or something like that!
Huh
I dunno, you just chose to bully an abuse victim. You sure that's not the dumbest thing you've read all day?
Though, judging by your post history, you already know you're controlling. All of AITA told you that, so of course you'd be the type of person who'd want to bully an abuse victim.
I’d say if he’s good in all other aspects and if you’ve been married awhile stay. Just let him know to cut that shit out. Do whatever you want if this is the last straw or whatever cause you’re right it’s pretty gross if nothing else.
I think it wasn't to great from the start since after 3 months of dating, she moved away for college and it became long distance, which only made it harder.
Both of us are commenting from experience. Love taht! I dated a 35 yo when i was 19 or 20. He tried to take out my iud and a ton of other abusive behavior. I hope that OP is not being used in a similar way. I've heard of way to many older women try this method for having more kids. I hope your experience made you stronger and you learned from the first one. Also i doubt that the cheater and OP's gf aren't romantic.
You pointed out “financially unstable” here, I was considering addressing that, but thought it took away from the point at hand. But since you have, I would like to talk about that.
What is your plan in terms of finding stability? What is his? That's absolutely important to consider in terms of your future. It's easy enough to say that you'll be fine because you've dealt with it and essentially that “love will conquer all.” The reality is that you don't want to be in a financially unstable position for many reasons, one of which includes the very real stress it puts on relationships.
So it's good that you don't live! together now. You have time to figure out next steps and how you can improve your situations both independently and together.
I couldn’t do it in person because I have a weird work schedule. So I sent him a text telling him I freaked out, I want a serious relationship with him and I apologized
Maybe see it as he doesn’t want sex? I think you’re reading too much into it.
I’m assuming it was on tik tok, but regardless, you can always post the full video with a description and let that spread. Surely Reddit can help with that.
Annoying as hell when people cut something a certain way to cause more hate, just because it gets more views.
Cool, so how exactly does that justify threatening to throw someone down an escalator?
Maybe it's different where you are. I grew up knowing a term “anchor baby”. You have a baby that is a US citizen, chances of deportation plummet.
Once she has brought up wanting a threesome, she has openly said you are not enough for me.
So incorrect.
Some people just want to try different experiences.
Yeah, my cousin got pregnant on an implant.
And there’s a saying about “weak pull out game.” You never know your pull out game is weak until you’re a dad all of the sudden lol
It's kind of the same as a prenup. Do people plan on getting divorce? No but it happens a lot.
Alternative solution: OP, tell her why you feel this way and that you can no longer sustain a non working spouse. That she must either change paths or lose you as a partner.
Slightly!?
Yeah you need to reevaluate your definition of slightly and your current boyfriend.
Dump and dash
Both of your behaviors are red flags.
It’s normal but i always shower right before if we’re doing oral. If it’s musky it’s bc of sweat plus any normal discharge. I wouldn’t want to eat that so I always shower
Unfortunately he doesn’t have social media. Or I’m blocked, idk.
What about shoulder pats? Taking her to the picnic when she's not the only friend he has? If he knows he won't enjoy the picnic and isn't closebwith his fellow students why go or take her along? It's disrespectful to the students too
Why do you have to throw him under the bus? “I’m not interested in going anymore”. This doesn’t make your bf sound controlling, but you’re choosing to use the explanation that makes him sound controlling.
He sounds like a turbo douche
He wants to charge you rent to live! in unacceptable conditions??? Absolutely not, clown shit
Yeah we both definitely need some 3rd party help.
I just stated a fact. Not sure why you’re so upset about that.
you should do your poor son a favor and say you're busy. it's rare to read such absolute trash on this sub. how can you possibly sleep at night? my god. i love my mom so much
No no no no. You are not his mother, you also were not put on this earth to teach him adult responsibilities.
You can tell him that he can ask YOU for advice, but I swear on a stack of Necronomicons that if you start this relationship living together as The One Who Arbitrates Clean, you will 100% always be the one expected to clean.
Never in my life have I heard about someone in their 20’s being treated like a child who decided that they wanted to suddenly take responsibility for things that they full well know someone else will never let get out of control.
Your bf has to prove that he’s capable of cleaning on his own, not just with you overseeing it.
If by this age, he’s that bad at time management and life skills, just imagine how much fun it would be to have to also teach someone how to make their own lunches, change diapers on their own child, clean up after their own toddler.
Take it from someone who just like you, assumed that everyone wants to be a responsible adult and a good partner. Maybe he’s eager to get started, but if you find yourself having to act like his mommy, and he drags his feet about changing? Or dog forbid, says something like “why would I do it when you’re better at it!?!?” just run. Run.
Why does your fiancee feel the need to tell people how many men she's slept with in these extremely inappropriate situations? Why would it even come up? Her behavior is … off to say the least.
I hate to say it, but this likely wasn't the first time. Only you can decide whether you're willing to accept her infidelity or not. I personally wouldn't, but I also wouldn't want to separate for the sake of your son.
I'm sorry you're going through this, nobody deserves to be cheated on.
Not all people can though and that's ok.
Good for him what you did was disgusting
Admittedly, it is only a small part of me.
To protect your assets you get a prenup. Not remove your name.
What selfish and weird advice. See a financial advisor for an unbiased opinion. I do recommend a prenup for that much money though.
Fair enough. I was just thinking of a way to put you out of your misery. Good luck, man.
No, that is not all at all what I meant.
The unintentional reality check the BF gave is that she's with an asshole that feels it's appropriate to reduce her to a number on a scale and likely won't respond to her love language in an appropriate manner.
He'll also likely defend himself and say, “What? I'm just being objective” (like objectivity can even come into play when talking about looks) and “you're just too insecure” or “sensitive.”
What does your husband do for a living?
Not really, it's just pure preference. You don't have to hate or be biased against a group to not be attracted to them.
Speaking personally, I'm mostly attracted to white women. I've dated other ethnicities before, and there was nothing wrong with those relationships. I just grew to realize that I preferred Caucasian women, for various reasons. I still choose to treat everyone with the same respect I would want to be given to me.
If we're being “brutally honest”, his personality sounds like a 3/10…if I'm being generous
Thanks, that's true, maybe I'll get tire of this busy nightlife after a while and tone down the amount of times I go out with them
DTMFA.
I wouldn’t say it’s necessary to lay out your entire past. But having your wife’s nude videos live! can have an effect on your business and social life. I think it’s a bit unethical to not bring that up so they know what they are getting into
Aside from that, my main concern wouldn’t be so much the nudes… my concern would be her lack of vulnerability
No, you don’t HAVE to tell your partner everything. But from my experience, getting vulnerable and sharing things from our past, allow us to deepen our intimacy and strengthen our connection
If she’s still carrying shame about that part of her life, I would want her to be able to get vulnerable and authentic with me so I could be there for her and we could reach a place of empowerment around it
Holding things in like that don’t allow for as much growth in my opinion. And the only reason I get into a relationship is to give, and to grow together
So? She can't steal someone who doesn't want to be stolen.
Tell her stop. Distance yourself
If you’re 28 years old and concerned about this, you might want to reconsider your relationship with social media.
???
Your daughter can never be your son. She is going down a path of mental and physical destruction. Do the right thing and tell her your love her but that she will never be a boy, it’s simply not possible. She can try and mutilate her body to appear as one but she will never actually be one. Love her enough to tell her the truth.
It's not. Peri-menopause can start in your mid-30s. My Mum was full blown menopausal by 45, my sis started hitting it a few years ago at 40.
The sexual attraction is libido not love. Perhaps also aesthetics and admiration for her care of her health. And boredom. Feeling like you are in a death trap and life is passing you by, is common after the loss of a parent. It goes along with depression.
It’s hard to think you don’t love that your wife chose you, committed to you and is loyal to you and your children. (And birthed them).
Perhaps if you can concentrate on gratitude for what you have, your wife and your relationship will blossom.
I'm sure his wife wouldn't have had this kid live! in her home without a DNA test. That was probably the first thing she had him reply with
It's insane to me that she would want you to “be the father your child needs” and simultaneously move the rest of your kids cross country to remove them from their father. That is not in the kids' best interest in any way.
It's insane to me that she would want you to “be the father your child needs” and simultaneously move the rest of your kids cross country to remove them from their father. That is not in the kids' best interest in any way.
I don’t know how to help you navigate this but I’d by lying if I said you’re not my role model right now. I think you could teach a lesson of determination and hard work and I applaud you for bettering yourself!
Not reading all that, but that isn’t how gifts work.
I'm delighted to read in your edit that you have blocked him. You are not overreacting – you are taking care of yourself. He didn't care about you, he was selfish. You are wonderful!
It all sounds reasonable and you sound like you‘re prepared to be a mom (I agree that you can never be 100% prepared)
You two are consenting adults, and if you two talked about coparenting and are cool with it, go for it.
I wish you the best x
She was fine sending nudes to a guy in relationship, that says a lot about her views on cheating. Big ass red flag. Leave
First of all, what a big baby. He is this put out over having to do laundry? And not like, laundry he wouldn’t otherwise have to do, he is enraged at the sheer thought of having to do *his own** laundry*. He is not a man.
Second, anyone who becomes that out of control over something so trivial has a lot of emotional regulation issues, at the very least. If this is his coping strategy, I am concerned for your safety. He isn’t doing anything physically violent to you in this story, but his willingness to physically act out in retaliation to your not doing his laundry for him leads me to believe this may be something you need to consider more seriously. He isn’t doing anything to you right now. He punched his own car. But when he going to start breaking your stuff? And when does breaking your stuff turn in to hitting you?
Please don’t try to alleviate by saying “just joking” because it minimizes your feelings and might unintentionally confuse or mislead her. A good thing to say instead is something like, ‘hey just want to understand’, or that this is new for you so maybe talk in an hour or so. Something along those lines.
Swinging is way different than an open relationship even though it sounds the same. I understand why it would make you consider breaking up-not because she’s into it, but because it sounds like you have 0 interest and so it would be a dealbreaker based on incompatibility.
I don’t suggest you do it without you two being able to deeply discuss all aspects & you being 100% sure you want to. It can work, but the lack of deeper intimacy & discussion usually sets up for failure tbh.
As for trust, I wouldn’t write her off as untrustworthy based on what you said. It’s a big thing to be honest about what she wants to try instead of just doing it or pressuring you into it. So, basically, she sounds trustworthy but perhaps you two aren’t compatible.
That’s so true. I will bring it up to them because they are open.
It’s a common live! food delivery service for busy people.
i guess i could clarify a bit, i was the one to make the first move, not him. i also grew up in an environment where even my youngest cousins were adults by the time i even started grade 1, so for me interacting with people who are older is easier. i understand that there is a moral point to make and i am fully aware of that, that is why i didn’t intend on anything serious out of this. nothing serious has come of it yet nor is it guaranteed to come about. i am fine with nothing coming of this, but i have unexpectedly warmed up to the idea of something serious, likely not long term but still more than what i went into this expecting.
It is the same, cheating is cheating, it’s exactly the same
True. Do not make other people’s drug problems yours
OMFG! why soo many husbands doing these crappy things & its all being posted it reddit!?
I really feel like telling / asking all the wives to do the same thing – look & search & like & follow all the hard handsomer-than-husbands men on social media & let the husbands see it & feel the hurt & heartbreaks they have been causing their wives !
“What's good for the goose is good for the gander”
Who am I to judge your life? You are asking for advice. The age gap is irrelevant, but his age is relevant as I went through this last year. Pills helped, and slowly getting medical issues under control is a plus. We are now back to regular intimacy.
Sounds like someone is pissed off at your wife and is trying to mess with her.
Lol.
“Baby, Daddy needs dat muff’n’puff”.
Just a suggestion.
Wow, you were a real catch.
Ok honey, what you need to do is get the two of you into counseling. Either to reconcile or to make the divorce as amicable as possible. What you did vs what she did, at this point that isn't as important as keeping the kids stable. A counselor can help with a smooth transition.
Why would she want to have casual sex with me but not get into a relationship if I’m not her type?
Who cares? She broke up with you. She wants to have some casual sex with you. Do you also want to have some casual sex with her?
If yes, then go do that.
If no, then politely decline.
The one great advantage of breakups is that you no longer need to parse through what somebody else is saying, and what they're thinking, and what they really mean. None of that matters. Don't fool yourself into thinking this is some game where you need to figure out the right answer to get back together with her. Don't get back together with her.
Doofus..? Thank you for your honest opinion
Not to be crude, but does he seem to change his underwear often? I work with a 20-some year old guy who's super nice but he smells putrid. And he doesn't have that greasy, unkempt appearance that you'd expect. He smells rotten and my coworker and I can't help but reluctantly notice that the smell seems to emanate from … Well, his ass.
Improper wiping habits combined with not washing between the cheeks could create an all-around stinkfest. The comments above about fungi/bacterial skin infections seem very likely in this scenario but if that's not the case, the source could very well be his rear (sorry, this can't be fun to ponder on).
Did not say he has bad hygiene. It could me a number of things.
This person is not your friend. They are using you.
That is why dudes have doodoo marks in their underwear
no… that's generally because they don't know how to wipe. Cleaning their assholes in the morning wouldn't prevent them from shitting themselves later in the day.
Invest in yourself.
When I left my abusive baby daddy the first thing I did was head for the spa for a day of hard baths, sauna's and massages.
The next thing I did was enroll myself in a class to learn something new. it can be anything you fancy as long as it gets your ass out of the house and interacting with others.
The last thing I did was start an exercise program and revisit my eating habits. I started running every day on my lunch break and a good fast walk at night after supper and I saw a change in my sleep quality and energy levels. bonus points for loosing some baby weight and dropping a dress size.
Just, do what ever makes you happy. You have to figure out who you are outside of your relationship so start with the question “who do I want to be?”
For me, it was “I want to be a strong, independent, smart and capable woman who stops accepting bullshit from my partners”
and i never looked back.
It's still putting the problem on you and your body…whether he intends it or not it comes down to blaming you for him not being able to cum. Don't fall into that trap. You are normal and great. Make sure you advocate for yourself. Seriously, make sure you are looking out for yourself and don't just take care of him. Just because he has a dick doesn't mean that your pussy needs to conform to exactly what he wants.
Your boy been yankin' the ole mcdoodle too hard and pinning it on you me thinks.
The reason why Americans scrub their ass with soap is cause we usually don’t have bidets available and have to use toilet paper bro, we still wanna feel clean at the end of the day
Why bother? The only move is “oh cool. Lose my number, good bye”
Trying to date someone in the workplace is rarely a good idea. Take her “no” as the end of things. Be professional but move on.
“You see this goblet?” asks Achaan Chaa, the Thai meditation master. “For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”
Take it easy, friend. All things that have beginnings necessarily have ends.
I DON’T CARE IF YOU MAKE A SCENE – he could’ve KILLED you??? Get OUTTA THERE hun!!
I think in these situations the best solution is to just “rip off the bandaid” and tell her how you feel. Being direct and saying you like her and see her as more than just friends takes the guesswork out of it. Based on experience, being in that weird gray area where you don't know where you stand is so draining.
Don’t tell her. Either break up with her or date her an never fuck up again m
You shouldn’t forgive yourself. First time out of her sight you finger a stripper. Hope you washed your hands – leave the girl alone you are not a nice stand up guy – let her find someone who is. You are a cheater and it looks like from your comment you are gonna be a liar too. You don’t deserve a nice girl – go back to the stripper at least she knows what she is getting – money from a loser to finger her.
I don't know that you're necessarily fully in the right here if you're taking issue with him raising his voice and not just him yelling at you. It is not reasonable to expect him to stay perfectly calm when emotional. A change in tone is absolutely just as natural and inherent to emotions as crying is. Now yelling at, screaming at, attacking, insulting are obviously not okay and are intentional. Simply having a raised voice isn't necessarily inherently unhealthy, although it absolutely can be counterproductive for some people on the receiving end. But when you share that, it needs to be about you rather than about whether his tone of voice is inherently right or not.
What she is doing is absolutely unacceptable and you'd be making a mistake enabling this behaviour just to win her back. You've made mistakes, we all have. Learn from them and move on. Going back to an ex is usually not a great idea.
This must be incredibly hard for you. You both need professional help to get through this, especially your daughter.
You don't mention in your post if you have asked why she feel unsupported and what kind of support she's expecting from you.
Lmao typical dusty behaviour, they want room mates/ maids
Who the HELL thinks they are having sex with the baby that's in the photo? What an idiot to have taken it there and made you feel bad about trying to have fun. Screw him.
Get away, far far away from the psycho
This woman has issues. She's not pregnant or trying. At the age of 35 the odds are increasingly against her favor every year of ever using this name.